Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The 12-step literature says “love and tolerance of others is our code.” What does this mean? Does this mean we become spiritual giants? Or saints? Do we become doormats for those around us?

To me this is a high-sounding ideal, something to strive for in our recovery. Even after nearly 20 years of sobriety my old nature of being intolerant and unloving toward others can come to the fore in certain circumstances.

At times I'll be in a meeting listening to a newcomer or chronic relapser without a lot of love or tolerance emanating from my heart. I try to overcome this by taking a look at my attitude and remembering where I was twenty years ago and replaying some of the things I said at early meetings.

One of my pet peeves today is when a certain mortgage company calls me at my office to tell me the company mortgage check didn't arrive on time. Even though it's not late enough to generate a late fee it's difficult for me to be tolerant when I get these calls. Usually the caller is patronizing and rude and often my response matches or exceeds theirs. I consider it a successful call when I can hang up and not be angry or stressed.

For me, “love and tolerance is our code” means that as long as I'm in recovery I'll work to stay on a path that allows me to practice these principles, even though I might stray once in a while.

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