Friday, September 16, 2011

Helping an Acquaintance

A banking acquaintance left a voice mail yesterday asking me to call him about something personal. Immediately I knew what it was about. I've been banking with this man for five years and while he never said anything – I had a sense that somewhere in his family there was a drug addict or alcoholic. He was very supportive of the work we do at TLC – more than the average citizen.

And sure enough, I was right. When I called he wanted help with a nephew who’d started drinking again, and was downing a fifth of whiskey a day.  He was sure he would die if he continued and wondered if I had suggestions. I told him we'd take him into the program and suggested he have the nephew call me. 

Another thing I suggested was to not enable him with money or support. I told him that one of the things that helped me get sober was when everyone quit helping me. At first I thought they were being mean, but soon I realized I was the problem and began seeking help. He became quiet when I told him this, but in a few moments he started to realize what I was saying was probably true. I told him that 
my experience has been that many family members "love people to death."

I told him to give pass my number to the nephew – that I’d be awaiting his call. I haven’t heard from him yet.

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