Recovery Connections

John Schwary is CEO of Transitional Living Communities, an 850-bed recovery program he founded in Mesa, Arizona January 9, 1992, when he had a year sober. He's in his 28th year of recovery.

In these posts, he views life mostly through the lenses of recovery. While the blog is factual, he often disguises events and people to protect anonymity.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

We ceased fighting anyone or anything...

A  former client with a history of settling arguments with his fists told  me he nearly had a fight with two men at a convenience store.

      "One of them was  staring at my wife so long that I finally got in his face. He backed down.  But I  was ready to knock him out."

Because he’d recently got back to recovery, he wondered what else he could have done in the situation.

      "Why didn't you just walk away?" I asked.

      "But they were being disrespectful."

      "It  would have been better to ignore him and just leave the store," I told him. “His disrespect doesn’t have much to do with you. It’s not worth reacting over.”

Then I suggested he pay attention to the part of the recovery literature that says we "ceased fighting anyone or anything."

If we're to have serenity we need to avoid situations that might interfere with it. There will always be rude people, angry people, disrespectful people, aggressive drivers.

What will we achieve if we give them our peace?