Recovery Connections

John Schwary is CEO of Transitional Living Communities, an 850-bed recovery program he founded in Mesa, Arizona January 9, 1992, when he had a year sober. He's in his 28th year of recovery.

In these posts, he views life mostly through the lenses of recovery. While the blog is factual, he often disguises events and people to protect anonymity.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Be Direct

A manager was upset because a client lied about him.  He was afraid he might lose his job because he thought his boss might believe the lies.  He wondered how to deal with the situation because he felt he was being unfairly targeted. 

                "Why don't you ask the client why he said those things to your boss?" I suggested.

He reflected for a moment and then said he didn't know why he wasn't dealing with the situation more directly. After all, he'd said nothing about the client. The client had a history of mild paranoia. It wasn't the first time he thought people were talking about him.

Often we addicts and alcoholics spend head space on issues that could be dealt with directly. It would've been simpler for the manager to ask the client why he’d said that. Instead, he wasted time wondering how to deal with the situation. Until he talked to the client he really didn't have a good picture of the situation. Yet he had spent the whole day thinking about it.

Sometimes our fears keep us from asking the simple questions that might make our lives simpler.