Recovery Connections

John Schwary is CEO of Transitional Living Communities, a 850-bed recovery program he founded in Mesa, Arizona January 9, 1992 when he had a year sober. He's in his 27th year of recovery.

In these posts, he views life mostly through the lenses of recovery. While the blog is factual, he sometimes disguises events and people to protect anonymity.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Courageous Mothers


While I care about all our TLC clients, there's a particular group I have great respect for. And that group is the mothers who've put their children in good homes - sometimes for years - while they work on their own recovery.

While most readers will say this is the positive and responsible thing to do, it's an emotionally wrenching decision that many parents don't have the courage to make. Many women receive criticism from family members or others who think it's reprehensible to give up children for any reason.

But to me it’s a sign of character for a parent to place the child in a positive environment. People who make this kind of self-evaluation not only show love for their children, but respect for themselves. And later on, the child will likely understand and be grateful for the parent’s decision to improve both of their lives.

One mother I speak of placed her son in a long term situation several years ago. They visit on holidays and weekends, call regularly, and have an excellent relationship. When mother and child discuss the arrangement both agree it's the best situation at the moment.

Another mother has a good long-distance relationship with a child who's residing with family members in another state. They seem to have a relationship that works for both of them - because it's in the best interest of the child and the recovering parent.