Recovery Connections

John Schwary is CEO of Transitional Living Communities, an 850-bed recovery program he founded in Mesa, Arizona January 9, 1992, when he had a year sober. He's in his 28th year of recovery.

In these posts, he views life mostly through the lenses of recovery. While the blog is factual, he often disguises events and people to protect anonymity.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

A Mother's Response...

A mother, responding to last Monday’s blog, “Subtle Denial” writes, in part:

(names and places are deleted to protect anonymity.)

“…my 22 year old is an alcoholic and drug addict. He has been using drugs since his mid-teen years, and things have worsened over time.

This disease has torn our family apart, and ____ has been kicked out of our home, his brother's home, girlfriend's home, and finally his grandmother's home. 30 days ago, we were all finally able to get on the same page and when left with no one to enable him, _____ entered treatment in California. 

He has done well with participating with the program according to his counselor, and he sounds good when we speak to him, but we have been here before. Once he returned to the same area, he fell back into the same habits and things quickly went downhill again. 

The program he’s in has no plan for post discharge at this point, and insurance will not pay for any further treatment there. He is due for discharge on the 16th. I began to research on line and found your organization. 

The whole TLC philosophy sounds like just what he needs. At this moment, he is sober, but he has no idea what to do with himself. He has to learn in a safe environment how to begin his adult "sober" life outside of rehab in baby steps with gradually more freedom that he earns by doing the work himself. He will not be able to manipulate peers who have been in his shoes. 

I read through your blog, I especially like the “Subtle Denial” blog - he is right there now, he just needs to be home, just needs to be near family and his girlfriend, etc. As you said, he had all that before, and where did it get him-still using!” 

This response from a mother perfectly illustrates the challenges we addicts can face when trying to get sober.

When in new recovery we think we know what we need - but too often it's our disease calling, trying to seduce us once more.