Recovery Connections

John Schwary is CEO of Transitional Living Communities, an 850-bed recovery program he founded in Mesa, Arizona January 9, 1992, when he had a year sober. He's in his 28th year of recovery.

In these posts, he views life mostly through the lenses of recovery. While the blog is factual, he often disguises events and people to protect anonymity.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Life's Lessons

The significant other of a former client is angry at our outpatient clinic because her relationship is in jeopardy over his inability to get sober.

While it’s unfortunate that their relationship is faltering because of his disease, it has nothing to do with the counseling he’s received from us. It’s all about his willingness to change - which at this juncture seems pretty anemic. However, she’s looking at anything that will shift the responsibility off him.

Her attitude is understandable because we humans often rationalize our poor decisions by blaming others.

In this situation the couple recently met on an internet dating site and within months was living together. A short time later they made joint business and real estate investments. It was only after she’d made emotional and financial investments with him that she discovered his substance abuse issues.

And when she discovered his issues were serious enough to put him in a treatment program, she had a meltdown and started lashing out at anyone and everyone - other than her sweetheart.

Life sometimes teaches us lessons...