Recovery Connections

John Schwary is CEO of Transitional Living Communities, an 850-bed recovery program he founded in Mesa, Arizona January 9, 1992, when he had a year sober. He's in his 28th year of recovery.

In these posts, he views life mostly through the lenses of recovery. While the blog is factual, he often disguises events and people to protect anonymity.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Recovering Together?

A young woman calls from out of state to ask we have a program where she and her boyfriend can "recover together."

When I tell her we don't, she seems upset. And when I explain to her why I don't think that'll work she tells me again what she wants, as if I didn't hear her the first time.

"We love each other so much. We got into this together and now we want to fight it together."

And when I repeated what I’d already told her she ended the call.

So why is it a bad idea to recover with our sweetheart? Or our spouse?

Our experience has been that the focus remains on the other person, rather than the dynamics of the disease.

When couples are in group together they tend to protect one another rather than expose their vulnerabilities.

We believe that if love is real it will survive a temporary separation while one works on their recovery.

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