Sunday, December 8, 2013

A Grown Ass Man

A client is upset because he was placed on restriction for associating with a former client who reverted to using meth.

"I'm a grown ass man," he said. "I don't need anyone telling me what to do all the time."

But he's wrong. One of the reasons clients come to us is because their lives are spiraling out of control. Been in prison. Living on the streets. Maybe divorced. Lost their job. There are many reasons why people come through the doors of TLC's state-wide locations.

The reality is that people come to TLC and pay us to tell them what to do. And they do that for many of the reasons in the paragraph above: their lives are a demoralized mess.

And the things we tell them to do are not much different than what so-called "normal" people do in the real world. We expect them to pay their bills. We ask them to clean their living areas. We expect them to have a job. Pay their child support. Have car insurance. Don't steal or use drugs.

But in addition, we have an overlay of requirements for them because they are addicts or alcoholics. Get a sponsor. Go to 12 step meetings. Help newcomers stick around and learn what recovery is about.

We take their request for help seriously. In fact, we have a fiduciary responsibility to carry out the mission of TLC which is: "we help recovering substance abusers rebuild their lives."

But what happens after a while, once people get a few meals in their stomachs, a job, and start feeling better, all of a sudden they become independent. They lose their gratitude and forget where they came from. They start complaining when they get in trouble for not signing out. Or not showing up for service fee check. Or not attending meetings. Or else associating with former clients who have reverted to using drugs.

There are myriad ways clients get in trouble at TLC. But each involves behavior that might lead them back to using drugs or alcohol. And our responsibility – our primary responsibility – is to help our clients rebuild their lives.

And we work hard to help them do that, whether they're "grown ass men," or not.

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