Friday, December 6, 2013

Creating a Monster

A client comes to a counseling session heavily burdened. He's behind on child support. He doesn't have a job so he can't pay fees his probation officer’s expecting. A court appearance is pending.

He has more than this on his mind, but you get the point. His issues are wrapped up in a big confusing ball, so tightly interwoven that he can't figure out what's going on.

He can't sleep. He's anxious to the point where he's thinking about picking up a bottle or a pipe. He's overwhelmed.

What he's facing is not unusual among addicts in our program. Sometimes clients have a flawed thinking habit where they let a bunch of little issues become one big issue. They create a monster that threatens to consume them.

When I encounter clients like this I have them tell me all the problems they're facing. In fact I usually have them make a list. Then I have them go down the list to see which are immediate and which can be dealt with later. Or if even they need to be dealt with at all.

And it's almost magical how this process defuses anxiety. Once they list their so-called issues, where they can be scrutinized one by one, they seem to realize what they've been doing to themselves.

Because every issue we face is not equal. There are some problems we must deal with now. There are some that can be postponed. And there are some that aren't problems at all, except in our head.

When a client uses this process he discovers something - not only about his problems - but also about his thinking. He starts to recognize how he sometimes lumps small issues together until they turn into a monster. The monster that might take him back to the dope house.

He also learns he's not helpless in the face of his disease and its efforts to take him down.

Click here to leave a comment.