She tells of a long term marriage to an abusive husband who immersed himself in drugs and alcohol. She went through many changes during the relationship, seeing therapists and counselors. Going to 12-step meetings. Doing her best to save a lopsided marriage. Sometimes she was trying to fix herself, thinking she was the problem. When nothing worked, she finally divorced him.
Then, on her own, she faces the task of raising two children. She says that when they were babies she never had an idea they'd grow up to become addicts like their father.
For a few years, while they were in their teens, she struggled to help them. She'd pay for treatment programs. She went to court to bail them out. She did her best to get them on the right track. And even though they'd stay clean for a while, eventually they'd relapse and end up back in rehab or jail. Until one of them paid the ultimate price and died of a drug overdose.
She talks of her devastation, of staying awake at night, rehearsing plans to kill herself because she couldn't escape the pain. But she couldn't follow through because she had another child who was still addicted - who needed her help.
And now that her remaining child is in rehab and has been clean for a few months she feels better. But still, she says when the phone rings she fears the worst. She wonders if it’ll be a message like the one about her first child.
When she talks of this tears come and I pass her a tissue.
Even though I've talked to dozens of mothers over the years who've lost children to addiction it's never easy to witness their pain. It’s a poignant reminder of how our disease affects those who love us.
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Then, on her own, she faces the task of raising two children. She says that when they were babies she never had an idea they'd grow up to become addicts like their father.
For a few years, while they were in their teens, she struggled to help them. She'd pay for treatment programs. She went to court to bail them out. She did her best to get them on the right track. And even though they'd stay clean for a while, eventually they'd relapse and end up back in rehab or jail. Until one of them paid the ultimate price and died of a drug overdose.
She talks of her devastation, of staying awake at night, rehearsing plans to kill herself because she couldn't escape the pain. But she couldn't follow through because she had another child who was still addicted - who needed her help.
And now that her remaining child is in rehab and has been clean for a few months she feels better. But still, she says when the phone rings she fears the worst. She wonders if it’ll be a message like the one about her first child.
When she talks of this tears come and I pass her a tissue.
Even though I've talked to dozens of mothers over the years who've lost children to addiction it's never easy to witness their pain. It’s a poignant reminder of how our disease affects those who love us.
Click here to leave a comment
