The following email arrived yesterday, a 154 word from the heart - stream of consciousness - single sentence. But I post it here verbatim because you'll find important truths about recovery.
"I was asked to leave the program once and I believe in my heart of hearts that I did it on purpose when you decide to become clean and sober you need to stop listening to yourself and listen to what others tell you to do and if that means you have to go back into specialized treatment then you do it .you need to be absolutely willing ....not getting out of bed / not going to groups she was asking for it and it sounds like you guys did everything & tried to be very loving and very caring .sometimes you want to blame another person for you going out and relapsing and therefore she can say oh they kicked me out so I'm going to go use again ....see what they did to me.... It's just a copout when you're ready you're ready and you're going to do whatever it takes."
This email says it all for me: the essence of recovery is taking responsibility for ourselves. We simply must be ready.
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