Friday, April 18, 2014

Recovery Roommates?

A group of clients came up with what they think's a great plan.  And the plan is get a large house together, maybe with a swimming pool, and share expenses.
After all they know each other well.  They spent some 60 to 90 days together in recovery.  And some were together in another program before coming to TLC.
They're all serious about their recovery. They go to a lot of meetings.  How can anyone quibble with a plan like this?
Well I, for one, don't think it's a great idea.  I've seen this happen many times over the past 23 years.  Two clients, maybe three, will pool their resources to cover living expenses.
Now for so-called ordinary sober citizens this might be a great idea.  When we try to do this with someone we meet in a recovery program or halfway house it rarely works.  At least, that's been my experience.
I can't disagree that these clients know each other well.  After all, they've lived together in close quarters for several months.  But, that's not like in the real world.
In the real world when we're roommates other factors come into play.  Maybe a roommate loses his job.  Is the other roommate willing to pay the whole lease payment?
 What if the roommate's a slob?  In the recovery program they kept their area clean because they had to.  Do they pick up after themselves when they're living on her own?  What if they bring in guests to spend the night?  Is that okay with the other roommate?
Who's buying the food?  Who's cleaning up the kitchen?  The bathroom?
Then comes the big question: who makes the lease payment when a roommate relapses?
These are things to consider before one takes on a roommate who's in recovery.