Recovery Connections

John Schwary is CEO of Transitional Living Communities, an 850-bed recovery program he founded in Mesa, Arizona January 9, 1992, when he had a year sober. He's in his 28th year of recovery.

In these posts, he views life mostly through the lenses of recovery. While the blog is factual, he often disguises events and people to protect anonymity.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Living in the Center

Like tightrope walkers some clients try to maintain the perfect chemical balance. They want to feel wonderful, to feel perfect at all times.

Maybe I need a Valium; that'll make things okay. Or Suboxin to stave off the urge to fix some heroin. I need to be up . No, maybe down. Something to make me sleep. Something to remove my anxiety. This hurts. That hurts.

But they never get there. Because once they get there it's not the right place. So let's try something else. But nothing works.

And that's the secret. Nothing works - except maybe temporarily. Sometimes life's just a bitch. And sometimes it's wonderful. There's pain. There's joy. We fail. We succeed. Life's a roller coaster of ups and down.

So what to do?

We stare life in the face. Embrace the things we don't like. Then the pain loses it's power, it withers because we're not giving it our focused attention.

Maybe then we can live in the center, neither up or down. But okay.  And living life on life's terms - not ours.

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