Recovery Connections

John Schwary is CEO of Transitional Living Communities, a 850-bed recovery program he founded in Mesa, Arizona January 9, 1992 when he had a year sober. He's in his 27th year of recovery.

In these posts, he views life mostly through the lenses of recovery. While the blog is factual, he sometimes disguises events and people to protect anonymity.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Judgment

"Love is the absence of judgment." Dalai Lama

I often find myself being judgmental. Not just of others. But also of myself.

And, I ask myself where this comes from? Part of it might be my family upbringing. I had a large family, seven aunts and uncles. And it was a pastime - when I was a kid - for everyone to sit around and talk crap about each other.

There was never anything right about anyone. They either made too much money. Or thought they were better than. They were ugly. Fat. Or stupid. They didn't know how to live or, for that matter, do anything else right. The list would fill an encyclopedia.

Even though that was the atmosphere I grew up in, I like to think of myself as above that stuff. That I've grown beyond. But somehow, like weeds popping up in a garden, judgments intrude in my life. It takes no effort on my part; they just appear.

I stop this immediately as soon as I catch myself. The remedy is always acceptance. Whether I'm judging others or myself, acceptance immediately stops me.

My goal in life is to not waste my time on anything negative. And judgment of self or others is the ultimate waste.

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