I get an email this evening from a woman from Kansas City who's been writing me for nearly a year about her grown son.
I've given her some advice over the past year about how to deal with his drinking. I've told her to do nothing for him.
Because when she does she's giving him money to drink. If he had to feed himself, do his own laundry, pay his own storage fees, that would be that much less money he'd have for booze. And I think that she sees that if he had to pay his own way he'd hit the bottom faster. In her case I know she really is at a loss for what to do.
And in many cases the best thing we can do for an alcoholic who refuses help is nothing at all.
Once we realize people are through with us then we might change. I know that it worked for me.