Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Changing our Story

Our clients sometimes tell us stories of the past.

In these narratives, they tell us what happened, what causes them pain. It could've been an abusive childhood. It could be the loss of a family member. They might have been a rape victim. Maybe they were traumatized by their experiences in Iraq or Vietnam. Maybe a family member succumbed to a heroin overdose. Perhaps they were in a bad marriage. Their sad tales cover a spectrum of experiences.

Whatever story they tell, it's always the rationale for their drug use or their alcoholism. They really believe these events damaged them so badly that they have to drink or use drugs to cover up the pain. In fact, some of them have been cycling in and out of treatment programs, jails, or hospitals for years, not knowing how to get beyond what happened to them. And sometimes people tell themselves these stories for the rest of their lives until they die of alcoholism or drug addiction.

But there are a lucky few who are able to change the narrative. Once they get in the program and start getting sober, they begin to view the things that happened in a different light. They learn to change their story of what happened and stop using it as an excuse to drink or drug.

They may edit their narrative in a number of ways. They may tell themselves that horrible things happen to a lot of people, but they don't propel themselves headlong into drugs or alcohol because of them. Or they may realize that they have been using, almost unconsciously, their terrible narrative as an excuse to drink and drug. After all, who wouldn't use drugs or alcohol if they had lived through our experiences? Or they may come to realize that the narrative that they've been playing in their head will kill them if they don't rewrite the plot.

And those who stay sober are those who succeed in changing their story. They no longer want to suffer and thus are able to break the grips of the past by changing their view of what they went through.  And that helps change their outcome.

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