Friday, April 12, 2019

Being Nice

I've been visiting the hospital nearly every day for the past few weeks. And probably some of the nicest people I've met are the staff members in the hospital,

It seems like they are from one large family because they all have a loving and kind attitude toward the patients. During the hours I've spent visiting my friend I've noticed a lot of patients making what I would consider being unreasonable demands. Yet the nurses and the doctors somehow maintain a kind of inner calm that transcends whatever they're facing.

Their complete focus seems to be upon the comfort of their patients and fulfilling their needs. They have a quality that I admire and wish that I could emulate all the time.

As I left the hospital this evening I reflected that even though I consider myself a nice person I wish I always felt that way through and through. Because earlier today I was in a long meeting with attorneys over what I consider a totally frivolous legal matter – and while I was nice on the outside – on the inside I felt somewhat different. Somehow the nice person inside me had disappeared. And while I was polite and businesslike I didn't feel like I normally feel towards the people around me.

But the reality of the world, I believe, is that we get a lot more out of life if we are genuinely nice and kind to all of those around us, regardless of the circumstances.

One of the things I often tell our clients is that I've never gotten into real trouble being nice to people, though once in a while I do get taken advantage of. But the idea that someone takes advantage of me once in a while is a small price to pay to have peace and harmony in my relationships and communications. While it doesn't always happen, I would say that 90% of the time my efforts to be nice and polite to people are well rewarded.

And the good thing about it, when I'm able to maintain a demeanor of kindness and pleasantness I don't have to get angry very often. At one time I was angry all the time and fighting with almost everyone. As my sobriety grows and I move on in life I find that I less and less frequently have to drag myself out of a state of anger – that I can maintain equanimity most of the time.

I've been able to enjoy a state of blissful serenity that for much of my life I didn't experience.

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