Monday, July 1, 2019

I'm Responsible Today

For years I played the blame game.  Everything was someone else's fault.  The easiest thing for me to do was shrug my shoulders like I had no responsibility at all.

I used drugs for years because my father was a raging alcoholic who beat everyone and everything around him.  I did lousy in school because of my home life.  It seemed like I was a burden to my family and I never received nurturing at home.  Just criticism and abuse.

And while all of these things were true about my childhood and caused me to grow up full of pain, it also caused me to spend years mired in addiction and alcoholism.  Jails.  Divorces.  Bankruptcies. Accidents.  My life was a trainwreck.

It was only when I became homeless after losing everything for the umpteenth time that I decided to change.  I was so full of pain that I was either going to change or die. And at that juncture, I decided I wanted to live up to my potential and be someone different.

And I did become someone different.  I surrendered my past, joined the 12-step programs and went to work in the recovery field.

At first, I couldn't believe how good I felt and how life started to flow for me.  Twenty-eight years later I enjoy many blessings in my life.  All of the promises continue to come true for me.

But it only happened when I accepted the past and started living in today.

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