Repetition

 When one writes a blog about recovery it might seem as if the subject matter becomes somewhat repetitious after a while. After all, this blog now has over 3400 postings.  And surely I've covered the same subject a number of times.

But when one stands back and takes a look at it, recovery is a lifestyle that must become repetitious if it's to succeed in the long term.  And even though we talk in 12-step meetings about "one day at a time," if we repeat these sober days one after the other we soon will have a few years - then even decades.

The reality of recovery is that it must be repetitious.  There can be no breaks.  No days off to imbibe our favorite beverage or smoke a joint.  That is, unless we want to start over.

There are times when I have to dig deep to find a topic that is different from the one I wrote about yesterday.  But I've found that it's okay to write about the same thing, because staying sober is a daily project for those of us who want to succeed at it.  And we must repeat the things that have kept us sober thus far.

Does that mean we must attend a 12-step meeting each day?  Not necessarily.  But it does mean that we must stay in touch with who we are.  By that, I mean we must stay in touch with our emotions as much as possible.  We can't walk around full of anger, or sadness, or depression without eventually addressing it.

And the AA literature has many examples of how we successfully navigate the tough times that everyone experiences at some point or the other. Even if you've read the Big Book 20 times, you can always learn something new.

So, we keep repeating what has worked.  And as we do that we find fulfilling lives.

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Compassion

In the 35 years I've been sober, I've tried to be compassionate to my fellow man. And most of the time, I'm successful at it.

I'm not a person who holds grudges. I don't stay resentful at anyone for long. And I try to practice forgiveness of those who commit even the most egregious offenses toward me. And that's because I don't want to carry a lot of garbage around in my head. After all, I'd much rather spend my precious time enjoying life and doing what I can to help my fellow addicts and alcoholics have better lives.

I bring this up, because for the past 35 years of my recovery – working with TLC – it seems like I've always had someone angry at me about something. For a long time, there was a guy who had the strange idea that he owned part of TLC, simply because he was one of the first 10 residents in the program. While he spent 20 years in prison he wrote letters to everyone he could think of trying to make sure that he got the part of the company he owned. Maybe I don't hear anything about him anymore is that we got a restraining order against him for two years in a row and haven't seen or heard from him since.

Then about 10 or 12 years ago, there was a gentleman who made me the topic of conversation at every 12 step meeting he attended. He went to every governmental agency in the state, including the governor's office, the Attorney General's office, the legislature, the Environmental Protection Agency and I don't know who else, trying to put us out of business. Whatever he was doing, it didn't work. Because we're still in business, helping people get sober and clean.

But the interesting part of it to me was that I had no idea who this guy was or what his problem was. He was just someone who was very angry at me and TLC and spent a whole lot of headspace and time trying to have something done about us. I'm still curious about why he was angry.

And just when I thought that maybe the craziness had died down for a while, late last year another delusional person pops up to make us a target.

And the strange thing is that I'm not angry at any of these people. In fact, I have a lot of compassion and pity for them because they're wasting their lives and precious time on this planet trying to harm those who are performing a service to the community.  Each of them could use their innate intelligence and ability to build a great life for themselves if they only did positive things – rather than looking at themselves as victims.

Because my experience has been that those who characterize themselves as victims usually live up to their self-image.

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Play Large

"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living."  Nelson Mandela

A while back I finished Mandela's autobiography, "Long Walk to Freedom."

And while I'd read reports about his life in the press, the insights in this book were inspiring. His life is an example of what one can do with enough perseverance.

As a recovering addict I like to read about how others overcame challenges. And I use these examples in my own life to keep things in perspective.

The value of this knowledge for us addicts is immeasurable. When we learn what others have done to overcome challenges we gain courage.

While we addicts don't face the challenges Mandela did, we have internal battles to overcome. And while they may seem small to others, to us they may seem insurmountable.

To live drug and alcohol free we must learn to live in a different culture. And change our way of thinking. Especially if we've had a long-term addiction.

It can be a shock to our psyche to get a job. To stop stealing. To start telling the truth. To be there for our families and friends.

But if we look at the suffering others went through to succeed we can find hope for ourselves.

Click here to email John