Medical Marijuana? Hmm...

A court-ordered client who was attending group - while under the influence of marijuana – said he had a "legal right" to do so.

Then, he proudly displayed a "medical marijuana" card he'd obtained from a doctor here in Arizona who’d given it to him for “chronic pain.”

The problem with this – regardless of whether he had a medical marijuana card – is we don't allow clients to use opiates or mind altering drugs of any kind. Even with a legal prescription. After all, there are many legal substances that are not compatible with recovery – alcohol being among them.

Further to this thought, we have a policy of not allowing clients to use, other than on a short-term basis, opiate-based pain killers. On occasion, when clients are injured, we allow them to use prescribed drugs. But clients taking opiates for chronic pain – even though they have a legitimate injury - are referred elsewhere. Some programs allow clients to use drugs of most any kind, as long as they pay to be there.

Also, we’ve had clients who smoke spice, or use bath salts. They try this because they know the tests for these drugs are expensive - that many programs don't have them. .But, guess what? We spend the money for these tests. And we sometimes find clients who are under the influence of these substances.

As I’ve often written, we have no issue with those who want to get high; just not at TLC.

As a philosophical aside, I have trouble understanding those who want to get high - but also be in a recovery program. What's the point? If one wants to get high, go for it. Many of us at TLC did it for years until it didn’t work.

We simply want to run a clean program that gives those who want sobriety to have the best opportunity to do so.

"Getting" to do Things

"I have to go to work," said a friend in recovery.

“No, you get to go to work,” I corrected him.

After all, those of us who've been through the turmoil and devastation of addiction are fortunate to be on the planet today.  Let alone, being blessed with jobs and other opportunities.

I hear this statement often.  In fact, sometimes I use it myself.  However, when I find myself saying I “have to “do anything, I quickly change my perspective.

Those of us in recovery should realize that we "get" to do things.  And if we take this perspective, that we are blessed to still be here, then our day looks better.

Don't look at those who have more.  Look to those who are less fortunate. 

There are those who – through no fault of their own – have handicaps.  Have been in accidents.  Were born with disabilities or deformities.

Against this backdrop we find much to be grateful for.  We can either envy those who have more.  Or we can look at those who face challenges.

It's a matter of perspective. And perhaps a prescription for a better day.

10th Step

“Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” 

The 10th step is a gift from the 12 step programs and a wonderful stress reducer.

If we apply it, it’s a miracle tool we can use in our lives each day. We deal with issues right now. The 10th step uses the word “promptly,” and to me that means here and now. Before a situation grows into something bigger.

The Founders must have known that little things get us drunk or high - so they gave us the 10th Step to help us alleviate problems that once tipped us over.

It’s not uncommon in our busy world to have small disagreements with others. On the job. At school. At home. In traffic. The 10th step admonishes us to keep problems small and resolve them as they arise.

My experience has been that it's a lot easier to do this along the way, rather than wait until things escalate into something larger. Before the ego gets involved.

Trusting God

Trust God.

This was the first part of a prescription given by a doctor back in the 30s as a guide to those who might want to get sober. (The other two parts were “clean house” and “help others.”)

But what does it mean to those of us in recovery, this "trust God" thing?

For this recovering alcoholic, it's pretty simple. To me it means that no matter what's going on in the world I must trust that it's God's will.  In step three of the 12 step programs we made a decision to "turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him." That’s where I began "trusting God.”

I usually got in difficulty when I’d confuse my will with God's will. My will got me in trouble many times. My will caused me to use drugs to the point where I ended up incapacitated and incarcerated. My will resulted in broken relationships and lost friendships. There's a trail of devastation leading back to my youth, carved out by self-will.

I must remember that when I'm in fear or confused about what's going on I must simply be patient. Eventually, God's will is revealed. Even though I may be baffled about what's going on and have no idea about God's plan I must wait.

In my 21 plus years of sobriety I’ve been blessed so many times with the right people and the right situations that I not only trust God – I depend upon him.

Sometimes I get impatient with His timing. Then later I realize that – once again – my impatience would have made a mess of everything.

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday and happy anniversary to my lovely wife, Dr. Schwary!

She's a beautiful 50 years old today. And we were married a year ago today in Las Vegas.  I think she planned having these events on the same day so I could combine gifts. No problem.  I welcome the opportunity to do something nice for her whenever I can. And it's because she does so much to enhance my life.

I talk often about the blessings of recovery in this blog. In fact that's what this blog is really about. And in my life there are so many blessings it’s difficult sometimes to know where to start.

If someone told me 20+ years ago that I’d be living the life I'm living today I wouldn't have believed them.

At the top of my list is my marriage and the joy that brings into my life. I have the presence of a woman who's easy to be with, who’s not quick to anger, who taught me forgiveness by her forgiving attitude – and who cries at movies. She’s a lover, not a fighter.  Except when she has to be - and that’s usually when she’s battling the bureaucracy to get help for a sick addict.

I’m grateful she’s in my life.

Act of Kindness

This week a photo of a police officer giving a pair of shoes to a homeless man in New York City made worldwide news. It was a moving photo, one that resulted in the officer being lauded for his kind behavior.  It was very kind of him to spend his own money on this homeless man. Indeed, his behavior is an example to us all.

But later, after reflecting on this incident and all the publicity it generated, I wondered why this particular act of kindness generated such publicity?  Maybe it was because the giver was a police officer and the recipient was homeless – in a city that supposedly has a reputation for being callous. I'm not sure.

During my 22+ years of recovery I've encountered many generous people who've gone out of their way to help others. Some of this help has been given anonymously. Other times it's been in the public eye. In fact, acts of kindness are so common in this part of the world that they generate little or no attention. We look upon it as near normal.

A while back a man told me of some associates who are remodeling the home of a woman who's about to die of terminal cancer. They've dug into their pockets to build ramps, widen bathroom doors, and do other things to make her last days easier. These folks bring minimal attention to themselves. As I said acts of kindness happen here all the time.

For me the benefit of the publicity about this police officer giving this man shoes is that it brings attention to acts of kindness. 

And it illustrates one of the most important commandments in the Bible: love thy neighbor. We can do more of this - not only during holidays - but year around.

Winning life's Lottery

In the midst of the lottery fever a few days ago I was asked if I planned to buy tickets, try to get that $500+ million that was up for grabs.

Of course, regular readers know my answer. But for those who aren’t, the answer was negative. And for a few reasons. First of all, the below statistics show the odds of various events that might occur in our lives:

The actual odds of winning the Powerball $550 million jackpot was 1 in 176 million.

Here are some other extremely unlikely things that could have happened to you before you won the Powerball jackpot this week.

• Dying from a bee sting: 1 in 6.1 million.
• Dying from being struck by lightning: 1 in 3 million.
• An amateur golfer making a hole in one on a par-3 hole: 1 in 12,500.
• A golfer hitting a hole in one on consecutive par-3 holes: 1 in about 156 million.
• Hitting a deer with a vehicle in Hawaii, the state where State Farm says deer/verhicle collisions 1 in 6,267.
• Being struck by lightning over an 80-year lifetime: 1 in 10,000.
• Drowning and other beach-related fatalities: 1 in 2 million.
• Being attacked by a shark: 1 in 11.5 million.

But the larger and more important reason is that money is not – and has never been- an issue in my life. The issues in my life have always been learning how to live life on life’s terms. How to deal with my addictions.

At various points in my seventy plus years I’ve had money. But I never respected it. The money I had nearly killed me more than once. I never used it to help others. It was wasted in complete ego-driven self –centered dissipation.

I won the lottery the day I truly admitted I was an alcoholic. From that moment on my life has been a twenty two year series of blessings.