“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese monk.
Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, has authored over 100 books on meditation, compassion, and other aspects of living a peaceful life. In 2014 he won the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts to make the world a better place.
The reason I bring him up today is because of the quote above. Those of us in recovery can use this quote to help us stay calm and focused in our sometimes very busy and stressful world. And to use this tool you don't have to believe in Buddhism or any other kind of dogma. You can use this simple tool of conscious breathing at any time during your day.
For example, maybe you're late to work and you're hurrying down the freeway. Then ahead of you is a sea of brake lights. Immediately you tense up, feeling your heart rate increasing, as you realize you're going to be even later for work. But instead of pounding your steering wheel and cursing at the traffic, you could react differently. Instead of getting upset, consciously take a deep breath, feeling the oxygen moving down to your lower stomach, maybe below your belly button. If you breathe like this two or three times you'll find yourself becoming calmer and more peaceful. You won't get to work any faster. But when you do get there you won't be bubbling over with anger or stress.
This is a technique that you can use very subtly and at any time. Perhaps you're in a social situation that has raised your anxiety level. No one's going to notice as you take a deep inhalation. Even if you do it two or three times. But they are going to notice your serenity and calm.
Maybe you're asking the boss for a raise, and you are understandably nervous. Instead of living with that case of nerves, draw in a deep breath as you wait for the meeting to begin. And it's something you can practice even while in the presence of your boss. He won't notice what you're doing. Plus he might interpret your calm demeanor as self-confidence and be more inclined to give you what you are asking for.
Thursday, June 8, 2017
Monday, June 5, 2017
Up in Smoke
If you ask people what's the deadliest addiction in the country they'd probably give you the wrong answer. They would probably tell you that it was methamphetamines. Heroin. Cocaine, Alcohol. But they'd be wrong in every instance.
The deadliest addiction in the country is nicotine. Tobacco kills something like 425,000 people a year in the United States. It kills more than all diseases combined. It kills more people than do plane crashes or automobile accidents. It kills more people than do homicides. More people die from tobacco than all other causes combined. And you can add to that number the 225,000 American military personnel who died in World War II.
Smoking is something that I rant about every so often. Not only was it the hardest addiction I ever quit, it also killed seven of my family members. None of them died from lung cancer: all of them succumbed to emphysema – a slow painful death that eventually suffocated them.
It was 33 years ago in July when I was finally able to kick the habit. It took a lot of planning for me to do it. The first thing I did was cut down from unfiltered to filtered cigarettes. Then I started cutting down on the number of cigarettes I smoked each day. Before I finally made the leap to quit smoking, I purchased 100 Nicorette tablets. After chewing nine of them over a few days, I knew I was done. And I was. I never picked up another cigarette or tobacco product again. And I believe that it was a decision that saved my life.
I bring this up today because I see people around TLC who still smoke in spite of all the evidence. I've seen them develop emphysema and COPD. I've seen them have strokes and heart attacks. And even though they know on an intellectual level how devastating the habit is, the addiction is so powerful that many of them cannot summon the willpower to quit.
However, we are willing to help any client wants to quit smoking. And that includes purchasing nicotine patches if they can't afford them – plus we offer hypnosis for those who are highly motivated to quit but have had difficulty stopping.
The deadliest addiction in the country is nicotine. Tobacco kills something like 425,000 people a year in the United States. It kills more than all diseases combined. It kills more people than do plane crashes or automobile accidents. It kills more people than do homicides. More people die from tobacco than all other causes combined. And you can add to that number the 225,000 American military personnel who died in World War II.
Smoking is something that I rant about every so often. Not only was it the hardest addiction I ever quit, it also killed seven of my family members. None of them died from lung cancer: all of them succumbed to emphysema – a slow painful death that eventually suffocated them.
It was 33 years ago in July when I was finally able to kick the habit. It took a lot of planning for me to do it. The first thing I did was cut down from unfiltered to filtered cigarettes. Then I started cutting down on the number of cigarettes I smoked each day. Before I finally made the leap to quit smoking, I purchased 100 Nicorette tablets. After chewing nine of them over a few days, I knew I was done. And I was. I never picked up another cigarette or tobacco product again. And I believe that it was a decision that saved my life.
I bring this up today because I see people around TLC who still smoke in spite of all the evidence. I've seen them develop emphysema and COPD. I've seen them have strokes and heart attacks. And even though they know on an intellectual level how devastating the habit is, the addiction is so powerful that many of them cannot summon the willpower to quit.
However, we are willing to help any client wants to quit smoking. And that includes purchasing nicotine patches if they can't afford them – plus we offer hypnosis for those who are highly motivated to quit but have had difficulty stopping.
Friday, June 2, 2017
Legalize Heroin?
Last year some 790 Arizonans died of opioid overdoses, according to the Arizona Republic, this state's largest newspaper.
The newspaper says this is a 74% increase since 2012. And at TLC we see the trend. Whereas many clients used to come to us addicted to meth, now they are more likely to come in with an opiate habit.
The article goes on with the usual handwringing about what to do about the heroin epidemic. It's the same old boring responses I've been listening to since I was a teenager, some 60 years ago. From then until now there's been this attitude of "doing something" about heroin.
One group will talk about raising public awareness. Another will talk about stricter enforcement. Others want to engage in a "war on drugs." I've been hearing the same thing for so long I almost have it memorized.
One solution that I don't believe has been considered in this state or in this country is a form of legalization. And of course, this kind of proposal would have everyone screaming about how legalizing heroin would encourage addiction. But that's kind of a dumb response. We already have an epidemic of addiction and overdose deaths across this country.
A few years ago we had a visitor to TLC from Berne, Switzerland. He was a man who worked as a counselor at a legal heroin clinic in his country. And he described the positive effect that legalization had on his city and country.
He said that AIDS had been cut dramatically because addicts were no longer sharing needles. Overdoses had been reduced to virtually nothing because the clinic staff taught people how much they could safely use. Drug-related crimes by heroin addicts had virtually stopped. And he said that young people are no longer as attracted to heroin as they had once been because now it was viewed as a medical problem. The fact that it was legal had made it less attractive to them.
Even though I don't believe that we should engage in any type of drug use, the reality is that it's overtaking our country. And I think we should examine any ideas that might help lower the death rate among addicts.
For more information about how the Swiss deal with heroin use, click this link.
Click here to email John.
The newspaper says this is a 74% increase since 2012. And at TLC we see the trend. Whereas many clients used to come to us addicted to meth, now they are more likely to come in with an opiate habit.
The article goes on with the usual handwringing about what to do about the heroin epidemic. It's the same old boring responses I've been listening to since I was a teenager, some 60 years ago. From then until now there's been this attitude of "doing something" about heroin.
One group will talk about raising public awareness. Another will talk about stricter enforcement. Others want to engage in a "war on drugs." I've been hearing the same thing for so long I almost have it memorized.
One solution that I don't believe has been considered in this state or in this country is a form of legalization. And of course, this kind of proposal would have everyone screaming about how legalizing heroin would encourage addiction. But that's kind of a dumb response. We already have an epidemic of addiction and overdose deaths across this country.
A few years ago we had a visitor to TLC from Berne, Switzerland. He was a man who worked as a counselor at a legal heroin clinic in his country. And he described the positive effect that legalization had on his city and country.
He said that AIDS had been cut dramatically because addicts were no longer sharing needles. Overdoses had been reduced to virtually nothing because the clinic staff taught people how much they could safely use. Drug-related crimes by heroin addicts had virtually stopped. And he said that young people are no longer as attracted to heroin as they had once been because now it was viewed as a medical problem. The fact that it was legal had made it less attractive to them.
Even though I don't believe that we should engage in any type of drug use, the reality is that it's overtaking our country. And I think we should examine any ideas that might help lower the death rate among addicts.
For more information about how the Swiss deal with heroin use, click this link.
Click here to email John.
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
Being 78
Back in the 1970s I never thought I'd live to see age 40. I was drinking every day. I was using drugs every day. I was stealing every day.
I spent so much time in the Orange County Jail, that when I'd leave I'd tell them to hold my job in the kitchen because I'd be back.
I lived a life of doom and gloom. I felt I wasn't long for this planet. And for some reason, I really didn't care.
This comes up for me today because on May 31, tomorrow, I turn 78 years old. And today I really do care about living. And I give all the credit to the fact that I got sober over 26 years ago.
Because I got sober January 14, 1991, I've been able to enjoy years of blessings. I've been able to see my children and grandchildren mature. I was able to start a nonprofit corporation that helps addicts and alcoholics get sober.
I have a circle of friends. I have love in my life, something I never had while using. I have material things that I've been able to keep because I haven't had to feed a monstrous drug and alcohol habit.
And probably one of the most rewarding things I've been able to do is help others change their lives. There are few occupations where a person gets to help others so directly.
Nothing is as rewarding to me as when someone says "Thank you for what you've done for me. You changed my life."
And to think, I would've missed all of this had I not walked into a detox totally demoralized and beaten down, over 26 years ago.
I'm grateful for my life and the people around me. I love you all.
I spent so much time in the Orange County Jail, that when I'd leave I'd tell them to hold my job in the kitchen because I'd be back.
I lived a life of doom and gloom. I felt I wasn't long for this planet. And for some reason, I really didn't care.
This comes up for me today because on May 31, tomorrow, I turn 78 years old. And today I really do care about living. And I give all the credit to the fact that I got sober over 26 years ago.
Because I got sober January 14, 1991, I've been able to enjoy years of blessings. I've been able to see my children and grandchildren mature. I was able to start a nonprofit corporation that helps addicts and alcoholics get sober.
I have a circle of friends. I have love in my life, something I never had while using. I have material things that I've been able to keep because I haven't had to feed a monstrous drug and alcohol habit.
And probably one of the most rewarding things I've been able to do is help others change their lives. There are few occupations where a person gets to help others so directly.
Nothing is as rewarding to me as when someone says "Thank you for what you've done for me. You changed my life."
And to think, I would've missed all of this had I not walked into a detox totally demoralized and beaten down, over 26 years ago.
I'm grateful for my life and the people around me. I love you all.
Saturday, May 27, 2017
Resentments
Oftentimes I hear people at meetings say things like, "I'm so grateful that I'm an alcoholic because the twelve-step programs have taught me how to deal with issues that I couldn't handle before."
Those of you who don't have a problem with substance abuse might wonder why someone would be happy to be an alcoholic. But if you are conversant with the twelve-step programs you would understand. You'd see that there are benefits for those who are in recovery and working the program.
The steps allow addicts and alcoholics to deal with issues from their past, things they used to cover up with alcohol and drugs.
This came up for me today because a friend of mine, who is in recovery, was telling me about how he'd made amends to an old girlfriend with whom he had a son. The son was getting married and had invited him to the wedding. But the son also said that his mother didn't want to have anything to do with his father, even though she hadn't seen him in 20 years. Even though he'd made amends to her, she was still fostering a resentment that didn't allow her to communicate with him in a civil manner. Had she had the tools that he'd gained from the program, communicating with him wouldn't have posed a problem for her.
My friend told me the wedding went quite well and, even though he didn't attend a pre-wedding dinner because she didn't want him there, everything worked out fine.
It's very healing for us to be able to make amends to people and get rid of our old resentments. Because, as we learned in the rooms, resentments are one of the things that can cause us to relapse.
Those of you who don't have a problem with substance abuse might wonder why someone would be happy to be an alcoholic. But if you are conversant with the twelve-step programs you would understand. You'd see that there are benefits for those who are in recovery and working the program.
The steps allow addicts and alcoholics to deal with issues from their past, things they used to cover up with alcohol and drugs.
This came up for me today because a friend of mine, who is in recovery, was telling me about how he'd made amends to an old girlfriend with whom he had a son. The son was getting married and had invited him to the wedding. But the son also said that his mother didn't want to have anything to do with his father, even though she hadn't seen him in 20 years. Even though he'd made amends to her, she was still fostering a resentment that didn't allow her to communicate with him in a civil manner. Had she had the tools that he'd gained from the program, communicating with him wouldn't have posed a problem for her.
My friend told me the wedding went quite well and, even though he didn't attend a pre-wedding dinner because she didn't want him there, everything worked out fine.
It's very healing for us to be able to make amends to people and get rid of our old resentments. Because, as we learned in the rooms, resentments are one of the things that can cause us to relapse.
Wednesday, May 24, 2017
Recovery Blessing
Tonight I had an experience that I never would've had, had I not gotten sober. I had the pleasure and privilege of watching my 18-year-old granddaughter graduate from high school. The ceremony was held at Wells Fargo Arena at ASU in Tempe.
I'd been sober about seven years when she was born. And because of her demeanor and comportment, she became one of my favorite granddaughters. She always did her best to excel in school. She stayed away from drugs and those who use drugs. She didn't drink alcohol. And she never got into any serious relationships. She was a loving and respectful child who never asked for anything.
She's already passed her exams to go into the Air Force and probably will be entering the service sometime in the fall. It didn't surprise me that she did that. Because she always had a desire to be independent and take care of herself.
When I first got sober I really didn't think about anybody but myself. I never thought about having grandchildren. I never thought about seeing them graduate from school. The only thing I wanted when I got sober and clean was for the pain to stop. And it did as soon as I stopped putting alien substances into my body.
But for those of you who are newly sober or in your first years of recovery I'd like to point out that there are a lot more benefits and life – beyond recovery.
I'd been sober about seven years when she was born. And because of her demeanor and comportment, she became one of my favorite granddaughters. She always did her best to excel in school. She stayed away from drugs and those who use drugs. She didn't drink alcohol. And she never got into any serious relationships. She was a loving and respectful child who never asked for anything.
She's already passed her exams to go into the Air Force and probably will be entering the service sometime in the fall. It didn't surprise me that she did that. Because she always had a desire to be independent and take care of herself.
When I first got sober I really didn't think about anybody but myself. I never thought about having grandchildren. I never thought about seeing them graduate from school. The only thing I wanted when I got sober and clean was for the pain to stop. And it did as soon as I stopped putting alien substances into my body.
But for those of you who are newly sober or in your first years of recovery I'd like to point out that there are a lot more benefits and life – beyond recovery.
And that's when we get to see our families blossom and grow. I've seen my daughters get married. I've seen them have children. I've seen them succeed in life in so many ways that I was unable to because I was such an addict. The best I could do was drag myself out of the house every day and live as a predator, trying to get enough money for the drugs and alcohol I needed to kill my pain.
I never dreamed there were so many blessings living in recovery.
I never dreamed there were so many blessings living in recovery.
Sunday, May 21, 2017
A changed Life
At our monthly staff meeting this weekend a longtime staff member spoke about how his life had changed since he got clean and sober.
He came to our program after completing a prison term. And when he arrived, he had nothing. Only the clothes on his back.
But the one thing he did have was a strong determination to change his life. He was tired of manufacturing and selling methamphetamines. He was tired of being locked up. Before getting deeply involved in the drug world, he had worked in the construction trades. So he began working for TLC in the construction department and he has done pretty much the same job for the last nine years. At TLC he's the go-to guy when it involves construction or remodeling.
Since he came to TLC he's done more than just stay sober. A few years back he fell in love and got married. Today he has a young child, and the boy is the focus of his life. You can hear the joy in his voice when he speaks about the time he spends with him.
He came to our program after completing a prison term. And when he arrived, he had nothing. Only the clothes on his back.
But the one thing he did have was a strong determination to change his life. He was tired of manufacturing and selling methamphetamines. He was tired of being locked up. Before getting deeply involved in the drug world, he had worked in the construction trades. So he began working for TLC in the construction department and he has done pretty much the same job for the last nine years. At TLC he's the go-to guy when it involves construction or remodeling.
Since he came to TLC he's done more than just stay sober. A few years back he fell in love and got married. Today he has a young child, and the boy is the focus of his life. You can hear the joy in his voice when he speaks about the time he spends with him.
His story is not unique. We have many staff members who have been with us for years. And after a while, their lives completely change as they grow in recovery.
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