New Baby

Congratulations to TLC’s newest parents upon the birth of their 7 pound, 13 ounce son – the latest addition to our recovery family.

While the parents are unnamed for anonymity’s sake, those who know them share their happiness at the arrival of a healthy child.

They both viewed the pregnancy as one of the blessings of living clean and sober.  And they’ve talked of their gratitude at having a second chance and being able to have a child together.

The new parents met a few years ago while both were clients of TLC, began dating, and eventually made a commitment.

We're all happy for you guys and wish you well as you embark on this new venture.

12-Step Power

The healing power of the 12-step programs is never so apparent as when those in recovery tell their stories.

And the story last Sunday from a young woman at the podium was gut wrenching and moving.

She chronicled years of childhood sexual abuse by family members. Then a gang rape when she was a teenager. After that, years of alcohol and drug abuse that followed her into adulthood. 

However, the drugs and alcohol could never quite erase the memory of the damages done to her psyche. And she became so incapacitated that she finally sought help in the 12-step programs.

Today, she works as a highly skilled professional and has obtained an advanced education. She now has a period of sobriety that she treasures more than anything. She understands on a deep level that if her recovery goes so does everything else.

When those with less traumatic histories hear such moving stories it gives them confidence in the healing power of the 12-step programs.

Small Victories

A client on a weekend pass made a strong step toward continued sobriety.

The report is that a visiting relative offered him marijuana, which the client declined. Reportedly, he not only turned down the offer to get high - he also became angry at the person who made the offer.

Those of us who work with clients who exhibit this kind of progress got a small feeling of satisfaction at this report.

And while this may not seem a large achievement to those who are unacquainted with this client, to us it's great progress. Because when this client arrived in our clinic his prognosis was not good.

He was completely self-centered. Everything was about him.. He wanted everything. And he wanted it now. He didn't understand why the rules applied to him. He was constantly arguing. Responsibility was a word that wasn't in his vocabulary.

Eventually, though, after many setbacks he started to change. Sometimes he’d take one step forward, then two steps backward. On more than one occasion there was discussion among the staff about whether we should keep working with the client because it seemed so futile.

Yet today, the young man is looking toward going to school and resuming his life as a sober member of the community.

Small victories,. But we’ll take them.

Coming Back?

Sometimes it's easy to get an idea of who’s going to relapse and who'll stay sober.

This came up the other day with a client who'd returned to TLC owing a $600 balance from his previous stay. This time though, he showed up before he lost his job. He professed a serious desire to get clean. That when he got his first check he would clear up as much of his back balance as he could. And because we help addicts rebuild their lives we gave him another chance.

Instead, when he got his paycheck, around $800, he came to the office and said he wasn’t going to pay us. So he burned TLC for a second time..

Our prediction is that his dishonest behavior will lead him again back to the insanity of drugs and alcohol.

He'll keep burning people, ripping them off until he runs out of options. Perhaps in a while, he'll end up homeless.  And that's when he'll turn to us again.

And quite likely we’ll help. And he’ll be a client in the Hard Six program. Sometimes it takes a few minutes for us to reach the bottom.

Want to Help?

A client came to my office to tell me he was thinking of leaving because he was bored. He'd come back to TLC with the idea of helping others in recovery. But he said that all he was doing was working, going to meetings, and not much else.

I explained that because he had a college degree it would be easy for him to be certified as a substance abuse counselor by taking a few courses. But he would have to be patient for a while because we don't always get what we want when we want. And, of course, that's the conundrum for us addicts.

However the bigger point I made is that we don't need a degree help others. We don't need a certificate to reach out. If it's in our heart to be of service we can do that each day.

There are those around us who are suffering. It might not be visible. But many of those who walk in our doors are terrified. They don't know if they're in the right place. They have anxiety about everything. They project an almost visible aura of fear.

And that's when those of us who want to be helpful can be helpful. We can greet the newcomers. We can help them get a sponsor. We might give them a word of encouragement. Share hope, the same hope someone gave us when we arrived. These simple small things are helpful.

And if we do a good job of being helpful, God will find more ways of using us. He’s always looking for recruits to do his work.

If we truly want to be helpful we'll be busier than we ever planned.

Train Wreck

“The fact that you even know me means your life is a train wreck,” a manager told a client who's having difficulty adjusting to the rigors of TLC’s Hard Six program.

And it’s true that if one is acquainted with our Hard Six staff they’re pretty much at the end of their drinking and drugging career.

A client only gets into the program after failing at three previous attempts in the regular halfway house program. The only way they get a fourth shot at TLC is to become a Hard Six – an eighteen month commitment.

The challenges of the program include a six month (hence the name) restriction during which the client goes nowhere without a staff member, works six days a week, has only $5.00 pocket money and attends daily meetings and groups. Most don’t make it.

Those who hang with the 18 month commitment generally go on to success. Many graduate into working on our 65 member management team and often become our best managers. Some re-unite with family. Others go on to college. Some start businesses.

And maybe the reason they succeed is because they had the energy and fortitude to complete one of the most stringent recovery programs in the country.

Skewed Priorities

A young new client, homeless when he came to us, is concerned about everything but recovery. Instead of doing his best for himself and the family benefactors who are helping him pay his way he spends most of his time thinking about the impending arrival of a new baby.

He's so focused on this event that he doesn't show up on time for scheduled activities. Instead, he's off somewhere meeting his girlfriend. It seems that the last thing on his mind is recovery.

But the one thing he'll soon realize is that neither his girlfriend nor a new baby will keep him clean and sober.

It's almost painful to hear his rationalizations about what he needs to do with his life. He's failed other programs. And it looks like he's on track to do the same with our program.

The lesson we teach at TLC is that if one focuses on the primary issue, recovery, then everything else works out. Of course things never work out the way we expect and on our schedule. But the amazing thing, is that sometimes they work out much better than we thought they would.

TLC has hundreds of graduates who finally surrendered to the idea that they were addicts or alcoholics. Once they accepted that idea then everything else worked out for them.

I saw another example of this Monday night when I was talking to a client who spent many years walking prison yards and dealing drugs in the ghetto. Today he's starting his second year of college and pulled me aside for a minute to brag about the good grades he was getting.

And all of this happened because his primary focus was not on jobs, or a girlfriend, but solely on his recovery. And today he's reaping the rewards.

I hope this new client can follow his example, though things don't look to positive at the moment.