And then there are those who leave just because they want to get drunk or high. They're probably the most honest ones because at least they realize that they're not done using yet. They just haven't had enough pain to motivate them to change.
But the idea that if we leave and go somewhere else things will be better is generally a fallacy. Because wherever we go, we take ourselves with us. And I speak from experience because it happened to me.
When I came to Arizona from California in 1982, some 35 years ago, it was because I thought a change of scenery would change my luck. And I got really angry at someone right before I left. Because she told me that when I got off the bus in Phoenix that I'd meet myself at the bus depot. I forget what my response was, but I remember that I thought that was a very hurtful thing for her to say to me. After all, I was making a geographical change because I wanted to improve my life.
But sure enough, when I got off the bus in Phoenix I met myself there. I remember asking a clerk at the bus depot where I could find a cheap motel since I'd never been to Phoenix and didn't know anything about it. He directed me to Van Buren street, which was a few blocks from the bus station.
And as soon as I arrived on Van Buren, I found myself in my element. The whole street was populated with alcoholics, addicts, and hookers. I was in my element, among my peeps.
And it wasn't until many years later that I realized that the person who said I'd meet myself at the bus depot was absolutely right.
It doesn't matter much what program we're in. Or where we go. We can make all the geographical changes we want. But if we haven't made a psychic change, had a spiritual shift of some kind, then we're doomed to repeat our old behavior - wherever we're at.
And that's the hardest change for us to make. Because it requires us to look squarely at ourselves. To recognize that we're the problem. It's not our family. It's not our parole officer. It's not our job. It's that voice inside of us that says we can successfully drink or do drugs, without paying any price at all.
But once we get rid of the idea that we can get high with impunity we're on our way to success.
