After unloading groceries into the trunk of my car the other day in a supermarket parking lot, I turned around to see the basket I'd just emptied rolling down the gentle slope of the lot toward the back of another car.
It was already 10 or 12 feet away from me and only a few feet from the car when I noticed it, so I was unable to stop it from running into the car's bumper. It made a gentle thud as it came to a stop.
The owner of the car, who was sitting inside, immediately jumped out and came over to me and began giving me a loud lecture about how I should've been more careful with my basket so it wouldn't have run into his car.
Now there was a time in my life that when I would've reacted to his anger differently than I did the other day. Because he was very belligerent, almost as if I had done it on purpose
Rather than engaging in a heated disagreement on a 110° day, I agreed with him that I should've been more careful with the basket. And I apologized if there was any damage to his car. And after we examined the bumper and determined that it hadn't been damaged, that kind of put an end to our conversation. We ended up shaking hands and going our separate ways.
But I could tell that he was the kind of person, that had I reacted with the same anger that he did, the outcome might've been entirely different.
One of the things we learn in the twelve-step programs is that "we ceased fighting anyone or anything..."
And that's a principle that I apply in my life today. Even though I felt like arguing with the guy about the parking lot incident, I realize that arguing wouldn't help anything. So rather than escalate the incident, I offered an apology. Which is something that wouldn't have happened in the days before I got sober.
As I drove out of the parking lot I gave credit to my recovery program for having the ability to defuse what potentially could have been a bad situation. Yes, it may seem like a small incident. But many times small incidents have caused me – and others – a lot of problems.
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