Thursday, January 17, 2019

Real compassion

"Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals." Pema Chodron

When it comes to expressing compassion there is no hierarchy. When we are truly trying to help someone we can only do it if we get onto their level – the human level.

Sometimes people come to us asking for help, looking for an answer. And they come to us because we may be in a position of authority. We may be a therapist. We may be an employer. We may be a parent.

But when it comes down to our basic humanity we are neither below nor are we above others. We all entered this planet the same way. As will we all leave the same way. And anything we acquire in between our arrival and our parting is really just on loan to us from the universe.

And while it may seem a bold statement, nearly everything that we own or achieve is through our connection with others. One person may be a teacher. Another may be a child who teaches us by living in the present moment. Still, another might be someone who teaches us by example. None of us achieve anything solely by ourselves in the strictest sense of the word.

The buildings we live in, the clothes we wear, the food we eat, the education we get, the cars we drive, everything we have is because there's a broad connection between us and the other people in this universe.

So when we are trying to help someone, regardless of their status or ours, we must forget the differences between us and recognize our commonality. Then we can be truly helpful.

Those who come to us for help will recognize immediately if we're speaking from a lofty pedestal based on our background or education. We reach them most effectively when we recognize that we're dealing with a person who is just as human as we are who wants to hear that we understand their suffering and their dilemma.

To do this is a fine art. And probably the simplest way to arrive at this state is to forget about our ego for the time we're with them. When we can do that they can see our inner nature and realize that we're doing our best to help and understand them.

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