Years ago I heard someone in a 12- step meeting say, "I never let go of anything without leaving claw marks all over it."
At the time I really didn't appreciate the wisdom in that sentence. It's only years later that I realized how much truth there is in that statement. And that's probably because I've been working in the recovery field for over 25 years with addicts and alcoholics who are struggling with their recovery.
But I believe we often stop struggling with our recovery once we accept the fact that a lot of bad things happened to us as we were growing up. And the breakthrough comes when we realize that there's not much we can do about it but accept it.
Most addicts I deal with have some kind of a dramatic story in their past (don't we all?) and sometimes that story has many chapters and nuances. Whatever the story is, it is painful for the person who is living with it. After all, pain is such a personal thing.
When an addict comes to me with issues from their past, or anxiety about the future, I always try to bring them into the moment. Because it's only in this moment that we can deal with our lives. The past is a memory, sometimes a bad one. And the future is many times just wishful thinking or fantasizing.
Living in this moment by learning meditation and relaxation skills, can help us to understand and accept the sometimes painful memories that can make our lives uncomfortable.
And we can learn to let go of things more easily, maybe even without leaving claw marks on them.
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