Monday, September 16, 2019

Killing Pain

There are a lot of reasons we alcoholics and addicts drink and do drugs to the point where it kills -  or almost kills us.

Some of us just like to party and feel good all the time, feel like we belong.  Then, after a while we find that it takes more and more of our drug of choice to simply feel normal.  And for me, that's when it ceased to be fun any longer.  All that happened for me was that I got into trouble and lost everything.

But over the past 27 years I've been sober I've met a few users who fall into a different category.  Those in this group didn't start abusing drugs or alcohol to be part of the crowd or to feel good. Instead, they used - mostly alcohol- to numb the pain of losing a loved one.

I was reminded of this the other day while at a meeting when a man shared about the loss of his mate.  As he shared, his pain was clear and he nearly broke down more than once as he spoke.  After his wife succumbed to a serious illness he was in such pain that he drank to the point where he lost his job and home and lived on the streets.

Now many of us who use end up in the same situation. And most of see it coming but are so far into our addictions that we don't care what happens.  We party till we end up in jail, the hospital, or on the streets.  Like I did.

But when I encounter someone like this guy somehow I have more compassion for him than I do the average drunk.  I guess I feel like that at least he had some kind of excuse. A genuine rationale.

But regardless of the reason we use, the substances we abuse treat us equally: they take everything we have and and destroy us.

Alcohol and drugs treat us all the same, regardless of why we become addicted to them. And our only hope lies in reccovery

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