"Emotions are temporary states of mind. Don’t let them permanently destroy you" unknown
Many times we act like how we feel at the moment is the way things will be forever. And that's when we' re walking on quicksand. Because anytime we think that our anger is permanent we're in trouble. Anytime our frustration seems like a never-ending burden we' re also in trouble.
Because these are the times we let our emotions rule us. And as addicts and alcoholics in recovery, we all know that when we let our emotions rule us we have that magic solution waiting for us: either a visit to the dope house or the liquor store. And there is no such thing in my world as one visit to a dope house. Or one visit to the liquor department. For me, once the ball gets rolling someone else has to stop it because I'm usually incapable of doing it. And that someone who will usually stop it for me is a representative of the law – either a police officer or a parole officer. Once I get addicted to whatever I'm using at the time it's never a fun thing when it comes to a screeching halt because by then I've lost everything and I usually end up living the next few months or years in some type of cage.
But now that I've been sober 29 years I don't get into these situations anymore. I've learned something called "self-talk." And you know, the more I use it, the easier it gets for me to talk myself out of a bad place or a bad mood and move on with my day.
Since I work in a recovery program I have many opportunities to see people who are acting like their life is in permanent trouble over a temporary situation. Their family may be angry with them. They may have to pay child custody payments and not have a job. They may have hepatitis C. Maybe their last excursion in the drug world cost them everything they had plus a moment or two in jail – something that they're still fighting about even though it's in the past and they once more have their freedom. You name the problem and I've had someone tell me about it.
But I try to teach them what I do without being critical of them. I may tell them that I didn't feel like getting out of bed this morning but instead, I made myself place my feet on the floor and get into my gym clothes and spend 30 to 45 minutes dragging my carcass around the gym. At the same time, I'm doing this, I also have a set of headphones and am listening to some type of positive thinking talk. There are so many resources today that we can listen to on YouTube for nothing, the motivation that will reset any kind of bad mood.
I tell myself things like "John, you didn't get sober and clean to lead. So get off your ass and get moving and do something for someone else. It will make you feel better." And invariably whatever I tell myself of this nature works. Because I did not get sober to lead a miserable life. I got sober to be happy, joyous, and free of the kind of emotions used to drive me to feel good experimenting with different chemicals. Experiments – by the way – but I never could seem to get right.
So while it might sound silly to talk to yourself, remember that no one has to hear you talk because you don't have to say anything out loud. The conversation only takes place in your head. But if it's a good conversation it gets you on fire. It gets you to open your meditation book. It gets you to doing some push-ups. It makes you open your iPad and listen to a motivational talk.
If that temporary state of mind that you're carrying around is negative, I challenge you to change it. Because I know that if one thing an alcoholic or addict has is a creative mind; if he didn't have one he wouldn't be able to hustle enough drugs to stay high.
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