Saturday, May 23, 2020

Neglecting our Children

Today is my oldest daughter's birthday and I wish her a happy one.  She's in her fifties now, born in 1966 when I was finishing up a prison term for possessing heroin.

Needless to say, she didn't have the best upbringing as both her mother and I were addicts whose only concerns were our own self-gratification.  She went without a lot of things that other kids took for granted. But the biggest thing she went without was the security of parents who nurtured her and spent time with her.  She never spent much time with her father because of he life he chose.

In half a year I'll have 30 years sober.  And during that time I've done what I can to be a good father.  And I think I've succeeded in many ways.  I've taken her on vacations.  I've helped her with some of her business ventures and have helped her financially on many occasions.

But no amount of money can make up for being an absentee parent, a parent who was never involved in his daughter's early upbringing and education.  Money and material things can't replace lost time.

I write this to encourage the addicts among you to  think of the damage you're doing your children because - like me - you're only thinking of your next drink or fix. Use your children as motivation for change and you'll be rewarded when they're grown and have gratitude for the time you spent with them. 

Today I regret the time I missed with my children - but maybe you'll able to do a better job.