A few days ago one of my business associates sent me a post she found on Facebook. She sent it because it was written by a TLC client from 25 years ago who was still angry at some of our former managers, and me in particular.
Now usually I don't even read things that are critical of the program beyond the first paragraph or two. And that's because most of these diatribes are from people who were in our program and dismissed because they wouldn't follow the guidelines – or more likely weren't ready to get sober. But my interest was piqued because I couldn't imagine someone being angry at a rehabilitation program they'd been in 25 years ago. I kind of scratched my head because I wondered what terrible things happened to him that made him have such a lengthy resentment.
One thing I was certain of was that this gentleman hadn't been sober since he left our program. Because people who are sober and clean learn how to put things behind them and not spend a lot of time on resentments. My belief is that we only have so much time on this earth and it's probably better if we use that time productively and being an asset to the community.
I recall that it didn't take much to get me angry. And being angry always led me to stick a needle in my arm or else pick up a bottle of something to get me out of my mind. But something about this one caught my interest. And that's because the people he was referring to were managers over 25 years ago. None of them are even with the program today with the exception of myself.
My advice to people who develop these kind of resentments is to do one of two things: either forget about them or else ask to meet with the person that you're resentful at. I know that a lot of people have been angry at me over the years about the way we run TLC.
And I don't blame them for being angry. There was a time - before I got sober - that I didn't want anyone telling me anything. My problem wasn't me. It was everyone else in the world that was causing my problems. And as long as I could blame them I didn't have to be responsible for any of my shitty behaviors.
I guess the thing that disturbs me more than anything else about this gentleman's anger at TLC is all the time he's wasted. He might've been able to get a college degree with the amount of time he spent thinking about us over such a period of time.
In closing, I would like to invite him – or anyone else – who bears us anger to make an appointment to talk with me. If I did something to harm them I'll be happy to clean up my side of the street. And if they just want to vent, then I'll be willing to listen to that also.
And if they need a place to go to get sober – if that's what they need – then our doors are always open.
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