The couple was a sobriety success story. She'd gone from being a passing out alcoholic to the married mother of a beautiful baby. He'd went from being a homeless meth addict to become a successful contractor. One of their parents helped them finance a split-level suburban home. Each had multiple years of sobriety. They were active on the 12-step circuit and chaired meetings.

Then one day, for some reason, he obtained a prescription for a highly addictive drug. It was a drug he wasn't allowed to use at the non-profit for which he worked. He was given a choice: stop taking the prescription or leave the company. He chose to leave, angry because he thought his doctor knew better.

Now, less than three years later the couple is reportedly homeless, living in a garage. There are reports of drunken sprees and serious drug use.

This story exemplifies why TLC has a policy prohibiting long-term drug use, even if it's a doctor's prescription. While there are good reasons to take prescribed drugs, we've learned through sad experience that chronic use of narcotic pain medication rarely ends well for the addicts and alcoholics at TLC. Chronic use turns into "lost" pills, acquisition of multiple prescriptions, or excessive consumption. While it might seem unfeeling to not allow our employees or clients to use narcotic pain medication, it so rarely works out well that we either refer them to other programs or - in the case of employees - let them go.

The speaker at Sunday’s meeting told an engaging story of the challenges of being a father throughout his 30 years of recovery. And one thing he said before closing resonated with me and several others at the meeting.

“If I hadn’t found sobriety,” he said, “I wouldn’t be standing here today to share my story.”

When it came time for others to share several related to what he’d said. They attributed the fact they were alive today to their participation in 12-step recovery.

I know that I, with the intensity with which I was destroying my life over twenty years ago, wouldn’t have been writing these words today had I not gotten sober. Sometimes those who aren’t in recovery ask us how long we must to go to meetings. In other words, are we ever well enough to live like normal people? My answer is I go to stay in touch with my sobriety – and also to give back to those who gave so freely to help me get sober.

When I deal with parents of young people who come to TLC I emphasize the seriousness of our addictions, that it is a life and death situation. I tell them of the youngsters, who didn’t make it, who won’t grow old in sobriety.

Some parents, feeling a residual guilt about how their children turned out (where did I go wrong?) attempt to compensate by doing everything for their children. And yes, that sometimes includes buying them drugs to keep them from being sick.

What the parents really need to do is to encourage their children to participate in 12-step recovery where they might join those of us who are blessed by the promises of the program.

Trying to do things to perfectly sometimes gets our managers in trouble.

For example, the other day one of our newer managers created a mess because he didn't follow protocol when handling money. We teach managers to put money they collect into the bank right away. However, this manager decided to do things differently. Rather than deposit the money in the bank, he bought gas for the company van. Then, instead of going to a supervisor and explaining, he asked his assistant and the van driver to not say anything. In other words, to lie for him.

While this might seem like making a mountain out of a mole hill, keeping careful track of money helps us stay in business. Good accounting requires us to have a paper trail when funds come in or out. Our CPA takes us to task when we overlook this procedure. Besides, if we don't know how much money we have coming in or out then we have no idea how the business is doing.

While our manager tried to cover up what he had done so he wouldn't look bad, it turned out he ended up looking worse. Even though he hadn’t stolen the money, he caused his supervisor, the bookkeeper, and others to waste time trying to figure out what had happened. The accounting department, by comparing the receipts, learned the money in question had gone into the gas tank because the mileage didn't match the receipts. The audit proved someone had put an extra tank of gas in the vehicle. And the assumption was, of course, that our manager is the one who had done it.

When he was asked why he hadn't followed procedure the manager claimed it was an oversight on his part - and that he wanted it look like he was doing a good job. Still, he's going to get consequences for his behavior because his "oversight" caused his supervisors to spend a lot of time trying to figure out what had happened.

We ask those who've been in our program a while to give back to the newcomers. In fact, we have a semi-formal structure to see that longer-term residents "volunteer" to help.

For example, to maintain the highest level in our program, Level Two, clients must sign up for a project or chore in the house. But often getting them to sign up is difficult. It seems to be characteristic of those who've been sober for 90 days or longer to stop giving back. It's as if they think "I've got mine, and that's all I'm interested in."

Last week the women's program manager called to say she was having difficulty getting the women to sign up during the weekly level meeting. Because I happened to be in the area, I dropped in to discuss the issue with the clients. I explained matter-of-factly that I was okay if they didn't want to be Level Twos. They could go back to being Level Ones. And the Level Ones could go back to Entry Level. I told them it made no difference to me. After all, to maintain level status requires some "volunteer" work at the house. It's just part of the program.

I reminded them of the help they'd received when they came to TLC. And that those who helped them didn't get paid. However, they received the reward of staying sober - while lifting up another human being.

A principle of the 12-step programs is we keep what we have by passing it on. If we make that concept part of our daily life, then God helps us in our sobriety.

When I was at one of our employment centers a while back the manager announced that McDonald's had a thousand jobs opening in Maricopa County, Arizona. They were starting a few new product lines and needed extra help.

One unemployed client commented "I'm not working at a fast food restaurant."

We often encounter clients who believe they're too good for certain types of work. I always emphasize that if someone's serious about staying sober the kind of work they do is irrelevant. Being willing to work at whatever comes along, especially in the current economy, indicates to us how serious someone is about rebuilding their life.

When I first got sober at 51 I was willing to take any opportunities which came along. My focus was simply on staying sober and changing my life. I had six different jobs the first six months I was sober. Among them, were telemarketing, day labor, window washing, landscaping, and other menial jobs.

However, the longer I stayed sober the better jobs I was able to obtain. Go figure...

The last Sunday of each month my home group celebrates sobriety birthdays. Each home group member, and others who care to participate, brings a dish for a potluck. Someone else brings cakes. The chairperson has usually lined up a good speaker for this event, someone who'll share for fifteen minutes before picking a topic. This is a great event for newcomers to attend because they are able to observe how those who have been sober for a while celebrate recovery.

In the past all many of us knew about parties was to indulge in drug and alcohol filled sessions that often didn't end happily. The goal was not to celebrate anything. The goal was to get out of our mind and satisfy our addictions.

On these Sundays, though, we get to see living examples upon which to model our sober lives. We hear stories of those who've overcome obstacles, yet remained clean and sober. We learn that death, divorce, loss of job, automobile accidents, foreclosures, are ordinary events in the course of life – not excuses to get drunk or high. We learn that life sober is better than life in the middle of addictions.

We see others who have escaped the downward spiral that nearly took their lives.

For 15 years I watched this businessman's slow descent into drug addiction, alcoholism, and finally jail.

When I first met him, back in the 90s, he owned a successful restaurant, several investment properties, and was happily married. He was a sharp and energetic young man, in good physical health. When I first leased property from him, I knew he dallied with alcohol and cocaine. But that wasn't unusual, many engage in some kind of recreational drug use. However, after five years or so, I recognized his use had progressed into addiction.

There were rumors floating around the community about him being involved in a burglary ring. Then someone shot him, the bullet barely grazing his skull. He claimed it was a random incident, that he didn't know who'd shot him. After that whenever I would see him he was looking rougher and rougher. Where once he dressed neatly, now he many times appeared disheveled, and somewhat disoriented.

Around three years ago we terminated the contract on the property we’d leased from him for several years. He was so angry at losing us as tenants he filed a $300,000 lawsuit against TLC for purported damages to his property. However, after several months of litigation and legal expenses he dropped the suit. In turn, we agreed to let him spend a year at TLC as a client at no charge to him. However, he never checked into the program. Once in a while he would send me a text message, recognizing that he had a problem. However, he never followed through to get the help.

Then last month a news report flashed across the television screen reporting his restaurant was on fire. The restaurant, along with several other businesses occupying the same building, was destroyed.

Two weeks ago he was arrested for first-degree arson, insurance fraud, and probation violation. He's being held in jail without bond.

His saga once more demonstrates for me the power of drug and alcohol addiction over our lives. Stories like this help me stay sober.