A lengthy email from a distraught mother is full of fear and anguish. So much so that instead of responding by email I call her.
She thanks me for calling and tells a familiar story about her 26 year old son who’s in the grips of a heroin addiction.
He was in a religious program for over a year and stayed clean for about three months after leaving. Then he picked up again.
Like many parents she’s full of guilt and anxiety. What’s the right thing to do? She’s afraid he might take his own life if things get much tougher. A friend of his died of an overdose a few weeks back. They have no money, nor do they have insurance. Fear has her mind working overtime.
She says the family probably enabled him to some degree. And I tell her that happens a lot because most parents don’t know what to do when they find out their child is a sick addict. The instruction manual that came with the baby didn't say anything about drug addiction. So how could she know what to do?
On top of his addiction the boy has no training or job skills. I tell her that fits right into the TLC client profile.
I encourage her to send him to detox. And then if he still wants help, send him to our halfway house. If he’s truly willing we can teach him the basics of recovery, help him find a job, maybe even get him into school after a while.
She’s going to tell him about us.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Changing...
A client called late one night full of anger because a manager had disciplined him for his behavior. He wanted to see me first thing in the morning to sort out what had happened, implying that he wanted my help to set the manager straight.
I told him I’d see him at my office as soon as I arrived.
However, when I awakened the next morning there was a text message from the client, apologizing for calling me so late the night before. And the message went to say that that he and the manager had talked and that everything was okay – that he realized that he’d been acting like a “dope fiend.”
This is great progress for this client. Because when he first arrived he was full of anger and ego and didn't want anyone telling him anything. He hated group. He disliked his counselor. He hated his probation officer. He was so frustrated that he seemed like he might burst into tears at any moment.
The idea that he was able to evaluate his behavior and admit that he was wrong gives hope that he’ll be able to continue learning how to live sober.
And that’s what our clinic and our program is all about.
I told him I’d see him at my office as soon as I arrived.
However, when I awakened the next morning there was a text message from the client, apologizing for calling me so late the night before. And the message went to say that that he and the manager had talked and that everything was okay – that he realized that he’d been acting like a “dope fiend.”
This is great progress for this client. Because when he first arrived he was full of anger and ego and didn't want anyone telling him anything. He hated group. He disliked his counselor. He hated his probation officer. He was so frustrated that he seemed like he might burst into tears at any moment.
The idea that he was able to evaluate his behavior and admit that he was wrong gives hope that he’ll be able to continue learning how to live sober.
And that’s what our clinic and our program is all about.
Monday, August 5, 2013
New Therapy
Hypnotherapy is a new service we offer to clients at TLC Outpatient Clinic.
So far, a handful have undergone hypnosis to help them quit smoking or chewing tobacco. To date these clients are 100% successful.
And of the four managers who’ve participated, three of them are smoke-free - one for five weeks. Those who’ve participated in anger management, stress-reduction, and weight-loss hypnosis report progress in those areas.
Of those who don't participate, many are skeptical about whether hypnosis works because their only exposure is what they’ve seen on stage or on television.
To them I explain that hypnosis is really self hypnosis. I ask them to think of me as the passenger in the car with the map - while they’re the ones doing the driving. I’m only a guide, giving them directions.
When I use this analogy they find the idea easier to grasp.
So far, a handful have undergone hypnosis to help them quit smoking or chewing tobacco. To date these clients are 100% successful.
And of the four managers who’ve participated, three of them are smoke-free - one for five weeks. Those who’ve participated in anger management, stress-reduction, and weight-loss hypnosis report progress in those areas.
Of those who don't participate, many are skeptical about whether hypnosis works because their only exposure is what they’ve seen on stage or on television.
To them I explain that hypnosis is really self hypnosis. I ask them to think of me as the passenger in the car with the map - while they’re the ones doing the driving. I’m only a guide, giving them directions.
When I use this analogy they find the idea easier to grasp.
It’s a blessing to help clients stop smoking – a habit that kills 440,000 Americans each year. More than die from all other diseases combined, including plane and automobile accidents, suicides and homicides.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
How to be Happy
If we addicts need anything, it’s the key to happiness.
So a good source of information for us is most anything by Shawn Achor, one of the world’s leading researchers on the subject of happiness.
His TED lecture on happiness on Netflix got over 3.8 million views. He currently has a new lecture on PBS called “The Happiness Advantage.” He also has happiness books on Amazon, among them “The Happiness Advantage..."
In his Netflix lecture he describes five important ingredients for those of us seeking positive change:
As an example, his research shows that if we take two minutes each morning to write down three positives that within 30 days our brains become rewired for happiness. We learn to scan the world for the positive instead of succumbing to negative influences in the news and the world around us.
Often in the rooms of recovery gratitude is the topic. Now even science supports gratitude as key to better living.
So a good source of information for us is most anything by Shawn Achor, one of the world’s leading researchers on the subject of happiness.
His TED lecture on happiness on Netflix got over 3.8 million views. He currently has a new lecture on PBS called “The Happiness Advantage.” He also has happiness books on Amazon, among them “The Happiness Advantage..."
In his Netflix lecture he describes five important ingredients for those of us seeking positive change:
- For thirty days write down three things for which we have gratitude.
- Journaling
- Exercise
- Meditation
- Random acts of kindness
As an example, his research shows that if we take two minutes each morning to write down three positives that within 30 days our brains become rewired for happiness. We learn to scan the world for the positive instead of succumbing to negative influences in the news and the world around us.
Often in the rooms of recovery gratitude is the topic. Now even science supports gratitude as key to better living.
Saturday, August 3, 2013
One More Time
The voice on the phone was tiny, hesitant, and seemed far away.
Even though she'd left several months ago in a fit of anger and relapsed, she realized that the one place she'd gotten help was at TLC. And she'd stayed sober and clean longer with us then she had at any other period of her life. And because she'd gone home and relapsed she was reaching out once more.
Sometimes when situations like this arise with a client who's relapsed and been problematic and wants to return it's tempting to say no. It’s easy to suggest that they go somewhere else because we know they might bring the same issues when they return.
But the flip side is that we've turned clients away because of their history with us. Then we hear they died of a drug overdose in a field or an alley. And in our sadness we wonder if letting them come back one more time might have made a difference. We'll never know.
But who wants to take the chance when we can always discharge them again if they're unmanageable? It's not an easy call. But where we usually draw the line with bad behavior is if the behavior is affecting the other clients to the point where it interferes with their recovery.
Hopefully this client will do better this time.
Even though she'd left several months ago in a fit of anger and relapsed, she realized that the one place she'd gotten help was at TLC. And she'd stayed sober and clean longer with us then she had at any other period of her life. And because she'd gone home and relapsed she was reaching out once more.
Sometimes when situations like this arise with a client who's relapsed and been problematic and wants to return it's tempting to say no. It’s easy to suggest that they go somewhere else because we know they might bring the same issues when they return.
But the flip side is that we've turned clients away because of their history with us. Then we hear they died of a drug overdose in a field or an alley. And in our sadness we wonder if letting them come back one more time might have made a difference. We'll never know.
But who wants to take the chance when we can always discharge them again if they're unmanageable? It's not an easy call. But where we usually draw the line with bad behavior is if the behavior is affecting the other clients to the point where it interferes with their recovery.
Hopefully this client will do better this time.
Friday, August 2, 2013
Changes
A client who was arrogant and uncooperative six months ago when he arrived at the outpatient clinic, graduated today. And the humility with which he spoke at the ceremony indicated how much he'd changed in those six months.
When he first arrived he knew virtually everything. He knew what he needed. He knew how to deal with his probation officer. He needed to hang out with his girlfriend instead of being at groups. Most of us believed, that with his attitude, it wouldn't be long before his probation officer took him back to jail. And a few times he got serious consequences for his behavior.
On one occasion he was moved to another facility for a while, to a part of the program that is much more rigorous than the outpatient treatment clinic. And that might have been a watershed moment for him, living in those circumstances. Because when he returned he was a different person. Even though he appeared reluctant, he did what was asked of him and started making progress.
Today it was great to see him graduate. His success shows us that we need never give up on even the most problematic of clients - no matter how frustrating and unpleasant it can be to deal with them.
We wish him well in his new endeavors.
When he first arrived he knew virtually everything. He knew what he needed. He knew how to deal with his probation officer. He needed to hang out with his girlfriend instead of being at groups. Most of us believed, that with his attitude, it wouldn't be long before his probation officer took him back to jail. And a few times he got serious consequences for his behavior.
On one occasion he was moved to another facility for a while, to a part of the program that is much more rigorous than the outpatient treatment clinic. And that might have been a watershed moment for him, living in those circumstances. Because when he returned he was a different person. Even though he appeared reluctant, he did what was asked of him and started making progress.
Today it was great to see him graduate. His success shows us that we need never give up on even the most problematic of clients - no matter how frustrating and unpleasant it can be to deal with them.
We wish him well in his new endeavors.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
The "Simple Life"
Clients in aftercare were asked to describe their dream life. What would it look like?
The facilitator was surprised at the answers. While he thought they might dream of owning Lamborghinis or enjoying lifestyles of the rich and famous, that wasn't the case. Instead, their dreams were pretty mundane. Almost all said they wanted a "simple life."
And the simple life involved having a wife or significant other, someone they could "grow old" with. And a home. Plus a job that would let them support themselves.
The facilitator pointed out that there were probably thousands of people within a few miles who were living this very life. After all, the so-called average person lives exactly this lifestyle if he or she chooses to do so.
The idea that most of the addicts and alcoholics in this group have this vision illustrates the challenges that we face with our addictions. Because most addicts and alcoholics, until we get into recovery, have only one dream: and that's to be as drunk or as high as possible for as long as possible. And the idea that we can quiet that demons within and escape to a simple middle-class life seems almost impossible for some of us. Because it's something many of us have never been able to achieve.
The key to the so-called simple life is hidden in plain sight. We find it in the rooms of recovery.
The facilitator was surprised at the answers. While he thought they might dream of owning Lamborghinis or enjoying lifestyles of the rich and famous, that wasn't the case. Instead, their dreams were pretty mundane. Almost all said they wanted a "simple life."
And the simple life involved having a wife or significant other, someone they could "grow old" with. And a home. Plus a job that would let them support themselves.
The facilitator pointed out that there were probably thousands of people within a few miles who were living this very life. After all, the so-called average person lives exactly this lifestyle if he or she chooses to do so.
The idea that most of the addicts and alcoholics in this group have this vision illustrates the challenges that we face with our addictions. Because most addicts and alcoholics, until we get into recovery, have only one dream: and that's to be as drunk or as high as possible for as long as possible. And the idea that we can quiet that demons within and escape to a simple middle-class life seems almost impossible for some of us. Because it's something many of us have never been able to achieve.
The key to the so-called simple life is hidden in plain sight. We find it in the rooms of recovery.
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