All of this hysteria about the corona virus is getting on my nerves. At least as much as I let anything get on my nerves.
When people ask me what I'm doing about the virus my response is "probably not much." I don't wash my hands any more than I normally do. I don't scrub my kitchen or bathroom any more than I normally do. I still wash my clothes on a regular schedule, as I normally do.
I haven't done any more grocery shopping than I normally do because I still have a freezer full of food, plus my pantry is three quarters full of beans and rice and other staples. I believe life presents us with enough issues without magnifying the threats that are posed by this virus.
After all, I wonder how many of these people thought about the dangers of our everyday life before this virus thing showed up. I think 70,000 people got killed last year by the flu virus, and I heard little or no hysteria about it. I didn't hear a lot more news about let's wash our hands more often. Let's stay out of crowds. Or let's cancel sporting events. People just went on with their everyday lives.
Nearly 500,000 people people died in the U.S. from smoking cigarettes last year, while another 41,000 died from inhaling secondhand smoke. But for some reason, we didn't hear this wave of hysteria about smoking, probably because a lot of big retailers would be losing major money if cigarettes were totally banned. However, the cartels would probably be happy because they would have a new product to put on the shelves.
Last year about 85 people died from jaywalking in the city of Phoenix; but no one heard much about that either. Opioid overdoses killed over a thousand people last year in Arizona, and at least that many each of the preceding three years; yet there was a little dust up about it and then it died down in the media and people went on to the next disaster.
One of the most ironic things I saw today was a 350 pound guy moving to the side of a market, pulling down a mask that he presumably was wearing to protect him from the corona virus, and lighting up a cigarette. Go figure. I guess he was trying to be kind of selective about what he was dying from.
I guess the point for me – besides an opportunity to vent – is that we can do a lot of things to take care of our health and to protect our families. But if we decide to mix in a large dose of hysteria and panic we do nothing to improve the situation. All hysteria and panic can do is cloud our thinking and prevent us from making the best decisions about how to survive whatever threats we're facing.
The reality is that most of us do not live optimal lives when it comes to taking care of our health. And the panicky worldwide reaction to this perceived threat – which may be a real threat as it has taken several lives – is doing absolutely zero to improve our odds of surviving.
Click here to email John
Sunday, March 15, 2020
Wednesday, March 11, 2020
Corona Hysteria?
Maybe I'm cynical, but this Corona virus thing is getting kind of boring.
Not saying that it's not real. Or that some people who have other conditions don't have reasons to be cautious, like people who are elderly or who have weak respiratory systems.
But when a person goes to the market and find that all the water or toilet tissue is sold out, that's what I pay attention to. After all one must be on the hysterical side if they let the media excite them about a virus that so far - comparatively speaking - hasn't taken near the lives that some other diseases have taken. Then there are the hucksters who sell masks on the internet at inflated prices that probably do nothing more than give others a false sense of security. Fortunately, it's not against the law to look stupid wearing a mask that has questionable value.
Not many people realize that something like 70,000 people a year succumb to flu in the U.S. Or that around a hundred years ago the flu killed 50,000,000 people world-wide. Some say it could have been twice that many because some believe that many third-world country deaths went unreported because of lack of communication at the time.
Yes, I'm profoundly sorry for those who have already lost a loved one to this disease, but I believe that our immune systems work much more efficiently when not being assaulted by hysterical media.
If one practices basis sanitation practices they'll likely be okay - in my opinion.
Click here to email John
Not saying that it's not real. Or that some people who have other conditions don't have reasons to be cautious, like people who are elderly or who have weak respiratory systems.
But when a person goes to the market and find that all the water or toilet tissue is sold out, that's what I pay attention to. After all one must be on the hysterical side if they let the media excite them about a virus that so far - comparatively speaking - hasn't taken near the lives that some other diseases have taken. Then there are the hucksters who sell masks on the internet at inflated prices that probably do nothing more than give others a false sense of security. Fortunately, it's not against the law to look stupid wearing a mask that has questionable value.
Not many people realize that something like 70,000 people a year succumb to flu in the U.S. Or that around a hundred years ago the flu killed 50,000,000 people world-wide. Some say it could have been twice that many because some believe that many third-world country deaths went unreported because of lack of communication at the time.
Yes, I'm profoundly sorry for those who have already lost a loved one to this disease, but I believe that our immune systems work much more efficiently when not being assaulted by hysterical media.
If one practices basis sanitation practices they'll likely be okay - in my opinion.
Click here to email John
Sunday, March 8, 2020
Job-Training
During a business meeting this week our staff began discussing plans to start offering more services to our clients. And of course the ideas we came up with were by no means new.
There are programs around the United States that offer the same services we do. One of them is Pioneer Human Services, in the state of Washington. They have trade schools and businesses where they teach clients good work habits and train them in various trade skills. That way, when they graduate they'll have a good foundation to start a new life. Pioneer Human Services operated for some time a decal business under contract with Boeing aircraft. That particular business provided decals for helicopters and other aircraft. Studies have shown that those with skills that allow them to support themselves after leaving a program or institution have a better chance of staying clean and sober.
Another program that has a great reputation for helping its graduates succeed, is Delancey Street foundation, located in San Francisco, California. The program has a long distance moving company. An automobile repair shop. A print shop. A five-star restaurant. And other businesses.
There are programs around the United States that offer the same services we do. One of them is Pioneer Human Services, in the state of Washington. They have trade schools and businesses where they teach clients good work habits and train them in various trade skills. That way, when they graduate they'll have a good foundation to start a new life. Pioneer Human Services operated for some time a decal business under contract with Boeing aircraft. That particular business provided decals for helicopters and other aircraft. Studies have shown that those with skills that allow them to support themselves after leaving a program or institution have a better chance of staying clean and sober.
Another program that has a great reputation for helping its graduates succeed, is Delancey Street foundation, located in San Francisco, California. The program has a long distance moving company. An automobile repair shop. A print shop. A five-star restaurant. And other businesses.
None of their clients graduate until they learn a trade skill, a sales skill, obtain a high school diploma, and have a job. Some graduates have obtained employment with the San Francisco fire department, while others have become members of the San Francisco City Council. It's interesting to go to their website and see what they've accomplished in a matter of a few years.
In our case, we have a lot of buildings that need repair, and the work is done primarily by volunteers who have the skill to do that kind of work. Our plan is to teach unskilled and untrained clients carpentry, sheet rock, painting, roofing, cooking, sales, and other occupations that will help them survive when they leave our program for the real world. While we already teach them the skills, we are going to start doing it with the assistance of those who have more experience in the particular fields than we do. The way the economy is going at the moment, one doesn't really need a lot of skills to find employment as long as they are teachable. But the economy doesn't always stay as it is now and one day a certificate of completion or certification of a certain period of training will have a lot of meaning when one is seeking employment.
Because we're in the planning stages we don't know exactly what our outcomes will be. When people leave our program they will not only have skills to support themselves but we will be able to provide certification that they completed training in those particular areas.
In our case, we have a lot of buildings that need repair, and the work is done primarily by volunteers who have the skill to do that kind of work. Our plan is to teach unskilled and untrained clients carpentry, sheet rock, painting, roofing, cooking, sales, and other occupations that will help them survive when they leave our program for the real world. While we already teach them the skills, we are going to start doing it with the assistance of those who have more experience in the particular fields than we do. The way the economy is going at the moment, one doesn't really need a lot of skills to find employment as long as they are teachable. But the economy doesn't always stay as it is now and one day a certificate of completion or certification of a certain period of training will have a lot of meaning when one is seeking employment.
Because we're in the planning stages we don't know exactly what our outcomes will be. When people leave our program they will not only have skills to support themselves but we will be able to provide certification that they completed training in those particular areas.
Thursday, March 5, 2020
Acceptance
I'm attending a mindfulness meditation meeting last night when I heard a surprising message: the beloved teacher who has taught the class for several years has come down with a serious illness.
While the disease is potentially fatal, he probably will survive because of modern medical treatments.
Because mindfulness stems from Buddhism, and one of the tenets of Buddhism is that all things are impermanent, it shouldn't surprise me at all that even our teachers become sick. But they do.
We in the Western world view life somewhat differently from those who come from the East, where death is a normal and accepted part of everyday life. Because of that it's more of a surprise when we lose someone to death or we hear that someone has a potentially fatal illness.
The teacher – a middle-aged man – seems an example of acceptance. And those who've been around him for many years don't treat him any differently. I guess the idea that things are going to change in his life one way or the other was probably a surprise to me more than anyone else.
I've read somewhere that older people are much happier and satisfied with life then are much younger people. And for a long time I couldn't figure that out. But the reality is that those of us who are well past middle-aged do realize that life doesn't go on forever. And because of that we maybe enjoy every moment that we have as long as we can.
Whatever happens, I wish him well, because he has given me any insights into life. And I hope he'll be around to give me many more.
Click here to email John
While the disease is potentially fatal, he probably will survive because of modern medical treatments.
Because mindfulness stems from Buddhism, and one of the tenets of Buddhism is that all things are impermanent, it shouldn't surprise me at all that even our teachers become sick. But they do.
We in the Western world view life somewhat differently from those who come from the East, where death is a normal and accepted part of everyday life. Because of that it's more of a surprise when we lose someone to death or we hear that someone has a potentially fatal illness.
The teacher – a middle-aged man – seems an example of acceptance. And those who've been around him for many years don't treat him any differently. I guess the idea that things are going to change in his life one way or the other was probably a surprise to me more than anyone else.
I've read somewhere that older people are much happier and satisfied with life then are much younger people. And for a long time I couldn't figure that out. But the reality is that those of us who are well past middle-aged do realize that life doesn't go on forever. And because of that we maybe enjoy every moment that we have as long as we can.
Whatever happens, I wish him well, because he has given me any insights into life. And I hope he'll be around to give me many more.
Click here to email John
Monday, March 2, 2020
Higher Power?
Higher Power is a term is a term that one hears frequently in the twelve-step programs.
And Higher Power is a term that a lot of new addicts and alcoholics have a problem with. And I suppose, in some ways, that this is understandable. After all, most addicts and alcoholics that we meet at 12 step meetings or treatment programs didn't get there because they were on a winning streak. They almost all arrived there because life, in one way or the other, kicked their asses.
And Higher Power pops up a lot in the rooms and sometimes one even hears the word "God." And if one wants to have problem with the twelve-step programs this is an easy and obvious way to start. A lot of people object to the idea of having to believe in anything or anybody – especially a power greater than themselves.
But if one sticks around the rooms long enough and is under the guidance of a wise sponsor she/he will come to understand that there are many powers and forces in our world that are greater than ourselves.
My personal opinion – and I emphasize that this is my personal opinion – is that people use the idea of "God" or "Higher Power" as a way to not commit to the program, as a sort of backdoor because they really haven't yet committed to their sobriety and recovery. Now I could understand their feelings if some denominational church or worldwide religion were pushing this idea upon them. And there are churches that do have twelve-step programs. But as far as I know, none are registered with the central office of any of the twelve-step programs that I'm familiar with.
For those who have trouble with the concept of a higher power I suggest they think of it in a more philosophical fashion. Perhaps they take a walk on the beach, sit down, and marvel as the waves roll into the shore, then recede gently back into the depths of the ocean. One doesn't have to believe in God to accept the idea that a power greater than themselves has created this marvel they are witnessing. Or perhaps they take a walk into a forest or canyon and recognize that some force greater than themselves created that wonderful landscape.
And sometimes I see things as being created by a power greater than myself – a spiritual force – in modern projects. I once drove two to three times a month between Phoenix and Las Vegas on business on US Highway 93 over about 12 years. I passed over the Colorado River via Hoover dam on each trip, where a bridge was being built so that people wouldn't have to drive across the dam any longer. It took some seven years to build the dam, which is considered the longest concrete arch in the world. And during my trips I would observe the project as it slowly arose from each bank of the Colorado River where it was to meet in the center. I marveled at the expanse of the project. I was amazed that a group of human beings could cooperate in such a way as to create what is a truly amazing structure when looked at from below. (Driving over the bridge from the top, one might barely notice it if they weren't aware of the project before hand.)
I was able to witness the project from beginning to end, and because I only took trips out there every few weeks I could see the slow progress of the project and marvel at the idea of so many diverse people working together toward one goal. And when they finally completed the arch it was reported that it was only three quarters of an inch off from one side of the concrete span to the other – which to me was a miracle.
One doesn't have to look far to see powers greater than themselves: think the corona virus that's spread all over today's news, witness the devastation of typhoons and hurricanes and forest fires and floods and perhaps visualize yourself as having more power than such forces. It's okay if someone doesn't want to get sober. But to use the concept of a Higher Power as an excuse to not do so is rather naive.
Click here to email John
And Higher Power is a term that a lot of new addicts and alcoholics have a problem with. And I suppose, in some ways, that this is understandable. After all, most addicts and alcoholics that we meet at 12 step meetings or treatment programs didn't get there because they were on a winning streak. They almost all arrived there because life, in one way or the other, kicked their asses.
And Higher Power pops up a lot in the rooms and sometimes one even hears the word "God." And if one wants to have problem with the twelve-step programs this is an easy and obvious way to start. A lot of people object to the idea of having to believe in anything or anybody – especially a power greater than themselves.
But if one sticks around the rooms long enough and is under the guidance of a wise sponsor she/he will come to understand that there are many powers and forces in our world that are greater than ourselves.
My personal opinion – and I emphasize that this is my personal opinion – is that people use the idea of "God" or "Higher Power" as a way to not commit to the program, as a sort of backdoor because they really haven't yet committed to their sobriety and recovery. Now I could understand their feelings if some denominational church or worldwide religion were pushing this idea upon them. And there are churches that do have twelve-step programs. But as far as I know, none are registered with the central office of any of the twelve-step programs that I'm familiar with.
For those who have trouble with the concept of a higher power I suggest they think of it in a more philosophical fashion. Perhaps they take a walk on the beach, sit down, and marvel as the waves roll into the shore, then recede gently back into the depths of the ocean. One doesn't have to believe in God to accept the idea that a power greater than themselves has created this marvel they are witnessing. Or perhaps they take a walk into a forest or canyon and recognize that some force greater than themselves created that wonderful landscape.
And sometimes I see things as being created by a power greater than myself – a spiritual force – in modern projects. I once drove two to three times a month between Phoenix and Las Vegas on business on US Highway 93 over about 12 years. I passed over the Colorado River via Hoover dam on each trip, where a bridge was being built so that people wouldn't have to drive across the dam any longer. It took some seven years to build the dam, which is considered the longest concrete arch in the world. And during my trips I would observe the project as it slowly arose from each bank of the Colorado River where it was to meet in the center. I marveled at the expanse of the project. I was amazed that a group of human beings could cooperate in such a way as to create what is a truly amazing structure when looked at from below. (Driving over the bridge from the top, one might barely notice it if they weren't aware of the project before hand.)
I was able to witness the project from beginning to end, and because I only took trips out there every few weeks I could see the slow progress of the project and marvel at the idea of so many diverse people working together toward one goal. And when they finally completed the arch it was reported that it was only three quarters of an inch off from one side of the concrete span to the other – which to me was a miracle.
One doesn't have to look far to see powers greater than themselves: think the corona virus that's spread all over today's news, witness the devastation of typhoons and hurricanes and forest fires and floods and perhaps visualize yourself as having more power than such forces. It's okay if someone doesn't want to get sober. But to use the concept of a Higher Power as an excuse to not do so is rather naive.
Click here to email John
Thursday, February 27, 2020
RIP Tinash
So yesterday I get a message about a former client named Tinash who was at TLC some five years ago who passed away from what was likely an opioid overdose. And the person who sent the message was a lady friend of his who finally had to go her own way because of his addiction – even though she still loved him.
She said he'd passed away in Missouri last December. And since his remains couldn't be immediately identified his ashes were unable to be claimed by his family until February 25th from the third party that was holding them - perhaps a funeral home or crematory.
I was sorry to hear that Tinash passed away because he was a wonderful person. He was intelligent, easy to communicate with and cared about others.
He was gifted with such an intellect that he received two full-ride scholarships to major universities in his younger years. One scholarship was for soccer (which he loved) and the other for debate. He ultimately chose to study political science and debate.
Not only did I know him, but on one occasion I also became acquainted with his father - a pastor who dearly loved his son. The family was from Nigeria and migrated here when he was eight years old.
There will be a service on Saturday, February 29, at Grace Baptist Church, at 1120 E. Plainview Rd., Springfield, Missouri, for those who wish to send cards, flowers, or to attend.
She said he'd passed away in Missouri last December. And since his remains couldn't be immediately identified his ashes were unable to be claimed by his family until February 25th from the third party that was holding them - perhaps a funeral home or crematory.
I was sorry to hear that Tinash passed away because he was a wonderful person. He was intelligent, easy to communicate with and cared about others.
He was gifted with such an intellect that he received two full-ride scholarships to major universities in his younger years. One scholarship was for soccer (which he loved) and the other for debate. He ultimately chose to study political science and debate.
Not only did I know him, but on one occasion I also became acquainted with his father - a pastor who dearly loved his son. The family was from Nigeria and migrated here when he was eight years old.
There will be a service on Saturday, February 29, at Grace Baptist Church, at 1120 E. Plainview Rd., Springfield, Missouri, for those who wish to send cards, flowers, or to attend.
Monday, February 24, 2020
Temporary Emotions
"Emotions are temporary states of mind. Don’t let them permanently destroy you" unknown
Many times we act like how we feel at the moment is the way things will be forever. And that's when we' re walking on quicksand. Because anytime we think that our anger is permanent we're in trouble. Anytime our frustration seems like a never-ending burden we' re also in trouble.
Because these are the times we let our emotions rule us. And as addicts and alcoholics in recovery, we all know that when we let our emotions rule us we have that magic solution waiting for us: either a visit to the dope house or the liquor store. And there is no such thing in my world as one visit to a dope house. Or one visit to the liquor department. For me, once the ball gets rolling someone else has to stop it because I'm usually incapable of doing it. And that someone who will usually stop it for me is a representative of the law – either a police officer or a parole officer. Once I get addicted to whatever I'm using at the time it's never a fun thing when it comes to a screeching halt because by then I've lost everything and I usually end up living the next few months or years in some type of cage.
But now that I've been sober 29 years I don't get into these situations anymore. I've learned something called "self-talk." And you know, the more I use it, the easier it gets for me to talk myself out of a bad place or a bad mood and move on with my day.
Since I work in a recovery program I have many opportunities to see people who are acting like their life is in permanent trouble over a temporary situation. Their family may be angry with them. They may have to pay child custody payments and not have a job. They may have hepatitis C. Maybe their last excursion in the drug world cost them everything they had plus a moment or two in jail – something that they're still fighting about even though it's in the past and they once more have their freedom. You name the problem and I've had someone tell me about it.
But I try to teach them what I do without being critical of them. I may tell them that I didn't feel like getting out of bed this morning but instead, I made myself place my feet on the floor and get into my gym clothes and spend 30 to 45 minutes dragging my carcass around the gym. At the same time, I'm doing this, I also have a set of headphones and am listening to some type of positive thinking talk. There are so many resources today that we can listen to on YouTube for nothing, the motivation that will reset any kind of bad mood.
I tell myself things like "John, you didn't get sober and clean to lead. So get off your ass and get moving and do something for someone else. It will make you feel better." And invariably whatever I tell myself of this nature works. Because I did not get sober to lead a miserable life. I got sober to be happy, joyous, and free of the kind of emotions used to drive me to feel good experimenting with different chemicals. Experiments – by the way – but I never could seem to get right.
So while it might sound silly to talk to yourself, remember that no one has to hear you talk because you don't have to say anything out loud. The conversation only takes place in your head. But if it's a good conversation it gets you on fire. It gets you to open your meditation book. It gets you to doing some push-ups. It makes you open your iPad and listen to a motivational talk.
If that temporary state of mind that you're carrying around is negative, I challenge you to change it. Because I know that if one thing an alcoholic or addict has is a creative mind; if he didn't have one he wouldn't be able to hustle enough drugs to stay high.
Click here to email John
Many times we act like how we feel at the moment is the way things will be forever. And that's when we' re walking on quicksand. Because anytime we think that our anger is permanent we're in trouble. Anytime our frustration seems like a never-ending burden we' re also in trouble.
Because these are the times we let our emotions rule us. And as addicts and alcoholics in recovery, we all know that when we let our emotions rule us we have that magic solution waiting for us: either a visit to the dope house or the liquor store. And there is no such thing in my world as one visit to a dope house. Or one visit to the liquor department. For me, once the ball gets rolling someone else has to stop it because I'm usually incapable of doing it. And that someone who will usually stop it for me is a representative of the law – either a police officer or a parole officer. Once I get addicted to whatever I'm using at the time it's never a fun thing when it comes to a screeching halt because by then I've lost everything and I usually end up living the next few months or years in some type of cage.
But now that I've been sober 29 years I don't get into these situations anymore. I've learned something called "self-talk." And you know, the more I use it, the easier it gets for me to talk myself out of a bad place or a bad mood and move on with my day.
Since I work in a recovery program I have many opportunities to see people who are acting like their life is in permanent trouble over a temporary situation. Their family may be angry with them. They may have to pay child custody payments and not have a job. They may have hepatitis C. Maybe their last excursion in the drug world cost them everything they had plus a moment or two in jail – something that they're still fighting about even though it's in the past and they once more have their freedom. You name the problem and I've had someone tell me about it.
But I try to teach them what I do without being critical of them. I may tell them that I didn't feel like getting out of bed this morning but instead, I made myself place my feet on the floor and get into my gym clothes and spend 30 to 45 minutes dragging my carcass around the gym. At the same time, I'm doing this, I also have a set of headphones and am listening to some type of positive thinking talk. There are so many resources today that we can listen to on YouTube for nothing, the motivation that will reset any kind of bad mood.
I tell myself things like "John, you didn't get sober and clean to lead. So get off your ass and get moving and do something for someone else. It will make you feel better." And invariably whatever I tell myself of this nature works. Because I did not get sober to lead a miserable life. I got sober to be happy, joyous, and free of the kind of emotions used to drive me to feel good experimenting with different chemicals. Experiments – by the way – but I never could seem to get right.
So while it might sound silly to talk to yourself, remember that no one has to hear you talk because you don't have to say anything out loud. The conversation only takes place in your head. But if it's a good conversation it gets you on fire. It gets you to open your meditation book. It gets you to doing some push-ups. It makes you open your iPad and listen to a motivational talk.
If that temporary state of mind that you're carrying around is negative, I challenge you to change it. Because I know that if one thing an alcoholic or addict has is a creative mind; if he didn't have one he wouldn't be able to hustle enough drugs to stay high.
Click here to email John
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)