Recovery Connections

John Schwary is CEO of Transitional Living Communities, an 850-bed recovery program he founded in Mesa, Arizona January 9, 1992, when he had a year sober. He's in his 28th year of recovery.

In these posts, he views life mostly through the lenses of recovery. While the blog is factual, he often disguises events and people to protect anonymity.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Meeting Ourselves

I remember a comment someone made over 30 years as I boarded a bus to Phoenix.

They said, "Just remember, you're going to meet yourself at the depot when you get there."

I recall wondering what the hell that meant. And how could anyone say something that hurtful to me?

But, it turned out to be the truth. Wherever we go we take ourselves along. All our behaviors, attitudes, addictions, we bring them along.

Years later I say that same thing to clients who believe things will be different if they simply move to a different environment. And they generally respond with anger, just as I did.

A different location, or job, or mate won't fix what's wrong with us on the inside. Nothing external will repair internal damage.

We must do the sometimes gut-wrenching work it takes to fix responsibility on ourselves. We learn to recognize that the person in the mirror did the damage. The one who made the poor choices. The one who took the easier path.

Once we do this we're okay wherever we're at, wherever we go. Because the person we take along is doing well.

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