Sunday, April 10, 2011

One of our out-of-state clients was complaining because our website says "if you want your life back we make it easy." He said he had a different idea of what the program was like when he read the website. He thought it would be a lot easier to be in recovery than it was when he got here.

I explained to him that he probably read that sentence one way, while we meant it another way. I told him he probably took it to mean that we were something like Betty Ford clinic. Or one of those programs that are located on a beach somewhere populated by clients with Colgate smiles, clear eyes and styled hair. He probably had a vision of waiters bringing his breakfast tray to his room, where he was being gently awakened with soft music.

What we meant by that line, "if you want your life back we make it easy," is we give everyone the opportunity to recover. We accept anyone, as long as they're not a sex offender or an arsonist. They don't need money to get in. They don't need a job to be accepted. Nor do they need insurance. All a potential client needs to get into TLC is a willingness to follow directions and a desire to change. And compared to what it takes to get into some programs, we do make it easy.

I tell people there are few places in this country where one can live for $110 a week. You can't go to Motel 6 for $110 a week. You might be able to stay for two days for $110. And you definitely won't get meals or support for sobriety. Plus, you need money up-front to get in.

I usually explain to unhappy or disillusioned clients that we don't ask anyone to do anything at TLC that the ordinary person doesn't do in daily life. The average citizen works to pay bills. He or she has a responsibility for their children. They must do their laundry and clean the house, simple everyday mundane functions of life.

But in the final analysis the real issue with people who complain about our program is not about program quality. It's usually always about a client who’s not ready to get clean and sober. Some come to us looking for a surrogate mommy or daddy. They're looking for someone to care for them, to cushion them from the realities of life. And when they run into our staff members, all recovering addicts and alcoholics, they are disappointed. All of a sudden they're looking into mirrors of themselves. They discover our volunteer managers are exactly like them: addicts and alcoholics working on recovery. And they learn it is difficult to lie to or manipulate other addicts and alcoholics.

When clients enter TLC they have the shocking experience of coming face-to-face with themselves. And when they face the reality that they’re the problem they were trying to escape then they have to make a decision: do I run away one more time, or do I stick it out and work on myself?

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