They literally have had the talent to do most anything they wanted. In fact, we've had three lawyers in our program, a doctor, a rocket scientist, a woman with two Master's degrees and a couple of newspaper reporters. People with education and skill. Yet each of them became so badly addicted to drugs that they literally lost everything. Some of them ended up in prison, homeless, divorced and alienated from their families.
And their history tells me, reinforces for me, that drugs and alcohol are so potent that they can overcome anybody. Something in their early upbringing, education, or childhood programming was so negative that no amount of talent or education or skill could keep them from succumbing to the deadly power of addiction.
As for myself, I'm just an average run-of-the-mill heroin addict and alcoholic. I'm not especially bright and I didn't have a lot of advantages growing up, but then I also didn't grow up in the worst of worlds. Although at the time I thought that all of my problems were rooted in my early childhood. It was only when I was on death's door and headed back to prison that I made a choice to overcome my past and change my life. And it was only with a lot of hard work and perseverance that I was able to put my past behind me and get to where I am today.
But what it took for me to do that, was to bury my ego and realize that I was just another addict. I recognized that I had to work hard to change my life and live up to my potential. That I wasn't smart enough to beat the system and live the kind of been insane life that I was living without paying a heavy price.
As the years have rolled on I've met many people who failed to get a foothold in recovery. Maybe they came to us from prison. Maybe their families sent them to us. Maybe they were sent to us from detox. Every one of them had the opportunity to become a successful and happy human being. Yet something kept forcing them back into their addiction.
I know with a lot of people it comes down to an issue of self-esteem. If an addict lacks self-esteem and self-confidence, no matter how much education and recovery they have a large percentage of them will go right back down into the pit they came out of. And it is so sad to see this because we have a choice when we get into recovery: we can be a contributor to the world and help others change their lives while at the same time changing our own lives.
Or we can continue to be a pain in the ass to everyone around us and in the process waste what precious years we have left. We can fritter away what little time we do have and expose ourselves to the world as the unmotivated, ungrateful addicts that we are.
And that's a terrible legacy to leave behind.
Click here to email John
And that's a terrible legacy to leave behind.
Click here to email John
