In the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, there's a phrase that any of us could use in our lives if we want to live with peace.
And that phrase is "We ceased fighting anyone or anything..." While that's just part of the phrase, it's the most important part.
And the reason that I believe that is important to not fight anyone or anything is that usually – unless you're a professional fighter – there's never a clear-cut winner.
I bring this up today because I saw two people get into an argument that escalated to the point where it could have had serious consequences. And while I don't want to break anyone's anonymity the whole subject could have been resolved if one of the parties had realized that they had no power in the situation. Instead, the person felt like they'd been treated unjustly. And once that happened the ego kicked in and the communication got more and more volatile.
And who knows where it could've gone had I not intervened.
My philosophy in life today, one that I learned the hard way, is to not fight or argue with anyone. If something can't be discussed in a calm and reasonable manner than I usually suggest that we wait till later before we continue the conversation.
And another thing I practice is to always look at my part in the situation. Because the reality is that the only thing I control in the world is my own behavior – and that's if I'm lucky. I can't control other people and what they think or do. But if I stay on my side of the street and admit where I am wrong then things are pretty easily resolved.
I very rarely have to raise my voice or get angry at anyone about anything. And as a result, my life goes much smoother.
Click here to email John
