On the 15th my daughter called with a message that my grandson had been found dead in bed from a drug overdose at 2 PM that afternoon. Without stating the obvious, I was stunned for a moment and broke into tears.
At this writing, no one knows exactly what the drug was and I found out somewhat later that he had taken some alcohol with him to the apartment where he was found dead. Although I know he favored benzodiazepines and opiates, at this point no one knows exactly what killed him or if he was drinking. But if he was combining Xanax, Valium, Fentanyl, or Percocet with alcohol that is definitely a deadly combination. Plus, he had a history of overdosing on opiates over the past five years; in fact, I think he went to the hospital four times in one year for heroin overdoses.
Like many people I know, he had a susceptibility to overdose quite easily. For some reason, I only overdosed one time in 38 years and I stupidly combined various drugs and alcohol. Life can be so random.
The sad part of my grandson's death is the pain and grieving that he left behind with his parents, four sisters and the rest of us. Much of this day was carried out in a background of tears as we drove around visiting family members.
My grandson and I had only been talking for a few weeks prior to his death. And the reason we'd been talking is that he had gotten out of prison a few months back and wanted to re-establish a relationship. I was hoping that the months he'd spent in prison had maybe changed him to some degree and decided we should give it a try. And it seemed that he had changed. He looked clean. He acted clean. Had a positive attitude. He was working and under the supervision of the parole department.
One thing we learn in the twelve-step programs is to forgive and not carry resentments. And I decided that this was the opportune time for me to put the program into practice. I'd always had a lot of confidence in my grandson's ability to succeed at whatever he tried. He was a hard worker. He had a good personality. He was healthy. He was a handsome 28-year-old who could have done anything with his life.
The only good that can come of this is that I can use his example when counseling others; maybe someone will listen and avoid the same untimely passing.
Go with God, Mijo...
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