I used to think that my addictions didn't hurt anyone but me. After all, I was the one who went to jail. I was the one who ended up in the Southern California mental hospital. I'm the one who lost his job. I'm the one who always paid the price for my bad behavior. So why should I listen to those who suggested that I change?
But the other day I met a woman who'd lost her husband to a drug overdose. And she wasn't a kid either. She was a very nice middle-aged woman who'd never been in trouble a day in her life. She had a couple of grown children and one in his late teens still living at home.
She was a professional person who had to take a part time job to pay the debts her dead husband had left behind. Because of his addiction he'd left her nothing in the way of insurance or money to care for herself.
It was sad to hear her story and see her working manual labor to take care of her responsibilities.
When I was out in the streets using I never gave a thought about those I was impacting by my behavior. I stole from others, anything that wasn't nailed down. Never had a thought about how hard they had to work to obtain what they had in life.
It was only until I was sober a few years and had gone to many meetings and listened to the stories that others told, that I realized that I was just like them. Selfish and self-centered and thinking only of myself.
It was only later that I realized the damage I'd done to my family and others and was able to make amends to them.
Sobriety has a way of changing our perspective.
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