Premature Death

 I received word this week that a distant relative I hadn't seen in a long time had passed away of "natural causes."

And, of course I didn't believe for a moment that this man – at 57 years old – had died of natural causes.  While I didn't socialize with him because he lived in another state, I'd heard stories over the years of his excessive alcohol and drug use.  And my belief is that he died from effects of his addictions as so many of my friends and family have over the past many years.

I knew this man from the time he was a child because his father and I were fellow alcoholics and drug users and good friends.  I spent probably 15 or 20 years around him as he was growing up.   And the only education he ever really got was from parents and friends who were all drug users and addicts of one kind or another.

There's an old saying that goes "apples don't fall far from the tree." And that was the case with this man, who was never exposed to anything positive as he was growing up surrounded by addicts.

I'm not being critical of this man even though he and I were not very close. I just bring it up because we learn in recovery that our addictions never bring us a happy life. We either end up in jail.  Homeless. In the mental hospital.  Or in some other unhappy situation.

Only a small percentage of the people that I socialized with when I was in my addiction have died sober.  The remainder came to a sad ending.

Now that I've been sober for 33 years I've seen addicts get sober and raise sober children. I believe we always become to some degree just like the people we're surrounded with and children surrounded with a sober family have the best chance of growing up to be sober and contributing members of society.

I've known this man's brothers and sisters for as long as I've known him.  And hopefully they're doing something positive with their lives.  But with the upbringing they had I have serious doubts about how their lives will go.  Life sometimes teaches us tough lessons, and this man's premature passing is simply another of those lessons. 

May he rest in peace.

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