More Gratitude?

Gratitude has been a frequent topic over the past 1170 plus days I’ve been writing this blog.   It’s also a buzzword around TLC.  Maybe to the point of becoming cliche.   It's looked upon as a panacea – a powerful tool in our recovery arsenal.

We tout it in 12-step meetings as the cornerstone of recovery.   After all, we hear, it’s hard to relapse when we have gratitude for what we have today.

In support of these beliefs I have more evidence that our happiness hinges upon how grateful we are. Click here to view a compelling video about gratitude and happiness that was sent to me this weekend.

Further to this, my experience is that those who’ve been sober for multiple years regularly express gratitude. For what?  Actually for nearly everything.  Another day sober.   For our freedom.   Our jobs.  Our friends and loved ones.  The list is long – and sometimes includes the most mundane aspects of our lives.

Gratitude is the one secret I share with newcomers when they wonder how to live sober.

Click here to leave a comment

Old Behavior

A long time client stayed out past curfew last night - and returned with blood on him from fighting.  A drug test showed he'd been using methamphetamines and alcohol.

As a consequence, he was to be sent to the Roosevelt house for a week to live and work in the Hard Six program.  He also was assigned to more recovery activities, a schedule he was on when he first arrived at our program.

However, he decided he didn't want to accept the consequences. That he'd rather pack his belongings and return to his home in another state. So he left.

This man's situation is an example of what happens when we take our eyes off recovery. He’d been successful in the program for several months and had started working an outside job as part of his phase out process.

His behavior is not unique among clients we've had over the past 20 years. They do well when they're under close supervision.

Then they start the phase out process, where they have more freedom, more responsibility.  At that point some relapse.

We wish him well. And hope he doesn’t go further into his addiction when he returns home.

Slowing Down...

In the Spanish language a watch doesn't "run," it "walks." Andar is the verb.

And this cultural difference of perception reflects the pace of life here in Puerto Vallarta.

When a native tells you when they'll arrive, they may sometimes use the term "I'll be there in a Mexican minute."

This term can be roughly be interpreted as "I'll be there when you see me, so just relax."   Eight o'clock might mean 8:15 – or 9:00 o’clock.

At first this view of time can be exasperating to us Americans who are used to being on the go. To getting things done.

But within a day, the pace of life, the lack of pressure, kind of overcomes one. It's pretty easy to be won over by the easy tempo, especially when on vacation.

At a sandwich shop the first day we arrived I kept looking at my phone wondering what was taking so long for my order? Why weren't more people working in the kitchen? Don't you know i'm hungry right now?

But within a day I got into sync. I hope I can import this healthy “living in the moment” life view back home to our busy recovery world.

Note from Puerto Vallarta

It was time for vacation.

And last week it became apparent that I was ready.  All week long I was answering requests.  People wanting help.  A constant stream.

In themselves necessary requests.  People need things.   Large things, small things.  Sometimes just a word of encouragement.   And our job is to respond.

And on top of that, the day to day routine of running a large corporation like TLC.  Insurance.  Real estate. Taxes.  Meetings with accountants.  Meetings with insurance agents.

Then in the middle of all of this my wife went for "minor" sinus surgery.   Which turned out to be not so minor after all.  When she went to the clinic she was supposed to be able to drive herself home.   Then I got a call that she needed transportation.  And when we got home I was mopping up blood with wash rags – something that sort of freaked me out because I felt so helpless.

And while I wasn't close to a meltdown, I found myself saying that I was tired of giving. That I needed to be refreshed.  I was doing everything I was supposed to.  Meditation.  Exercise.  Eating right.  But I could feel myself approaching my limits.

Yes, this vacation was right on time.

Click here to leave a comment

Pending Relapse?

I tell a client that he's in relapse mode.  But he doesn't understand what I mean.   He seems to think he's okay as long as he's not using drugs.

Then I outline for him the list of behaviors he's been exhibiting lately:

Missing meetings.  Staying up past midnight.  Leaving his living area like a pigsty – including piling dirty dishes under his bed.  Bad attitude.  The list goes on, but you get the idea.

Much different than when he arrived.   For his first few months he was compliant.  Always on time for appointments.  Never rationalizing.  Grateful.

But now he's back to doing what he wants when he wants - as if he doesn't care.

My conversation with him kind of fell on deaf ears.  He halfheartedly nodded in agreement, but I could tell his heart wasn't in it.

Hopefully, he won’t pick up.

Click here to leave a comment

Insanity of our Disease

A friend in recovery told of going to the hospital with his sponsor to visit a sick meth addict.

When they arrived at the man’s room he was highly incensed, blaming their visit on the sister who’d sent them to see him. The man was told by his doctor that the next time he smoked methamphetamines it would likely kill him because his lungs were in such bad condition.  And, of course, the sister loved him enough to try to help him.

When the two visitors realized they weren’t welcome they told him to call should he ever need their help. Then they left.

A week after leaving the hospital the man once again smoked meth.  And he died – just as the doctor predicted.

This is another sad tale that illustrates the power of our addictions. And it makes us realize that if we hadn’t found the blessings of recovery we surely would have shared this man’s fate..

Click here to leave a comment.

Krokodil?

A horrifying drug currently used in Russia may have come to Arizona.  (Follow link for more information.)   Krokodil Coming?

The drug reportedly eats away the flesh from inside out and forms a green scale on the body, hence the name “krokodil.”  Some of the photos on the internet are only for those with strong stomachs, pictures of limbs with the flesh eaten to the bone.

When I first read of this drug last week – 10 times stronger than heroin – and saw the devastating damage it does to users - I had a fleeting thought of “how could anyone put this substance in their body?” 

And the answer of course is that we addicts have a history of using most anything in the quest to get high.  Over the course of my life new illegal drugs have come on the market with regularity. And there's never a shortage of volunteers willing to try it.

Few, if any, were produced by laboratory standards. The only standard seemed to be “is it addictive enough and powerful enough to sell?

Hopefully the extensive publicity about this drug will warn most potential users away. But the lessons of the past are that if it’ll create a high someone will use it – regardless of the consequences.

Leave a comment about this blog.