Trusting God

I've always had a strong belief in God.

Yet many coming into recovery find trusting God to be a strange idea. At meetings they may say they have "trouble" with the higher power thing.

Even though they created their own misery, they find it difficult to trust anyone - let alone a Higher Power.

But I think finding a power greater than ourselves is vital if we're to grow in the program.

But how do we do this?

There are many ways. We can look around and see the hand of God in our survival. We made it into recovery. And that's a miracle because most of us were saved in spite of our best efforts to kill ourselves.

We can look back at a time when our ego told us that we were God - and at the piss-poor job we did of running things.

I was one of those. And I was so incompetent at running the universe that I ended up addicted. In prison. In a mental hospital. Divorced. Bankrupt. The list goes on.

Then I surrendered 24 years ago and gave God his job back. And life got better right away.

Even before recovery found me, I believed in God. But I took exception to the way he (she) did things. It wasn't on my schedule. What showed up wasn't good enough. I wanted it my way and wanted it now.

Today, trusting God is not an issue. While at times I still wonder why things aren't on my time-table, I take a deep breath and flow with whatever's going on.

And what shows up is exactly what I need.

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Feeding the Spirit

A former staff member who decided to return to TLC as a manager explains her decision.

She left her job at our corporate office a while ago because she wanted more money. While TLC pays a living wage, employees can earn more elsewhere.

So she found a job with a major corporation and did well. She made great money and had regular hours.

Still, something was missing. She realized it while talking to her former boss, who asked how her job was going. While it was going well, the reality was that she needed more in her life. That's when she decided to make the change.

What she needed was a mission that was larger than making money. And she knew she'd find it if she worked for TLC.

She knew helping other addicts and alcoholics would feed her spirit.

So today she's managing part of our women's program and is finding what she came for.

We wish her well and welcome her return.

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Helping Panhandlers

I read an irritating story in yesterday's paper. I was about panhandlers who ask for money at intersections and freeway entrances.

The writer tried to disguise the story as an impartial examination of the issue. But the tone was more about it being a bad idea.

One quote grated my nerves. That came from someone who suggested panhandlers might buy drugs or alcohol with the money. Duh. Of course they might. In fact that's likely what most of them do.

One city official thought motorists shouldn't give money. Instead they should donate to a charity that helps addicts. Or give them a food voucher. Yeah, right.

My take on this is that we should always offer money when people ask. No matter what it's for. Alcohol. Drugs. Food. Diapers. Whatever. It's not my business what they do with the money. It's between them and God.

My sponsor told me long ago that it's okay to give money for alcohol. He said they might get done drinking that much faster. And get to the point where they'd seek help.

If someone's life is so bad that they stand on a street corner with a sign I don't care why they need money. I'm going to help them

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Compassion for Self

"If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete." Jack Kornfeld.

This quote reminds me of clients who say they have no self-worth or no self-esteem.

Some say things like "I care about others. But I don't care about myself."

And I always question this. I believe compassion for others starts with compassion for ourselves. We can't give what we don't have.

Now it's sort of understandable for the addict who shows up after a string of failures. They're still recovering from the beating they put on themselves. Losing jobs. Getting divorced. Going to jail. Suffering the consequences of their addictions. Not much to feel good about there.

But after awhile we must get a grip on ourselves. And come to realize that it's human to fail at times.

We must accept that we're all imperfect beings who never do everything 100% right. If we can accept that, then we open the door to being good to ourselves.

Once we begin showing compassion to ourselves then we can start caring about others.

Being compassionate to ourselves doesn't mean that what we did to ourselves and others was okay.

Instead it means that we're able to accept our human failings as part of life and then move into compassion for others.

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Work Habits

A frustrated halfway house manager laments about the work habits of our clients.

Sometimes they don't dress appropriately for the contract jobs we perform. Don't show up on time. They wonder why they must work. They might even sleep on the job. Or perhaps walk away to return to the streets and get high.

We remind the manager that many who come to us never learned to work. Their parents might be addicts who never held jobs. Maybe their only income was from dealing drugs or stealing. Their role models were slackers and addicts who taught them to slide through life the easy way.

We often say that part of our job is raising other peoples' children. Only these children are grown men and women who came to us from years of addiction or stretches in prison.

Those who hang in there and do what we say often turn into good workers. And the positive feelings they get from work turns into positive feelings about other areas of their lives.

When they get to this point they may have a chance to stay in recovery.

And helping them get to this point is what we do.

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Positive Encounter

Today, while my wife and I are at a drive through for coffee, there's a familiar face at the window.

While I'm not sure where I know her from, it turns out she's a former TLC client who's been sober six years.

In the few minutes at the window we learned which house she was at, who her house manager was, and how her life is today. It was a refreshing encounter.

While I never doubt the value of what we do at TLC, there's nothing like tangible evidence to re-affirm that what we do has an impact.

It's not unusual to be around town on business and to encounter TLC graduates whose lives are going well.

And the interesting part is that they don't have to say how they're doing. It shows in their eyes. In their demeanor.

Sometimes they'll be on the job. Or driving a nice vehicle. Perhaps with their family.

I always leave these encounters with a sense of gratitude. And I thank God for giving me the opportunity to help others change their lives.

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Guaranteed Success

Here's a simple guaranteed formula for success in 2015: give people what they want and they'll give you what you want.

If you want a good relationship with your wife or husband be a loving and kind mate. They'll give back.

If you work for a company, don't just show up and punch the clock. Instead, give it your all. Soon your boss will see that you're trying to make the company profitable. You'll get rewarded with more responsibility and more money.

If you want recovery, help others into recovery.  The Founders of the 12-step programs gave away recovery and in turn stayed sober.

This works not only on a personal level, but in all areas of life. For example, TLC gives addicts a place to rebuild their lives. In turn, TLC has become one of the largest programs of its type in this country.

Help others lead more successful lives - on any level - and you yourself will enjoy success.

It's simple.

Click here to email John