Sunday, January 4, 2015

Compassion for Self

"If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete." Jack Kornfeld.

This quote reminds me of clients who say they have no self-worth or no self-esteem.

Some say things like "I care about others. But I don't care about myself."

And I always question this. I believe compassion for others starts with compassion for ourselves. We can't give what we don't have.

Now it's sort of understandable for the addict who shows up after a string of failures. They're still recovering from the beating they put on themselves. Losing jobs. Getting divorced. Going to jail. Suffering the consequences of their addictions. Not much to feel good about there.

But after awhile we must get a grip on ourselves. And come to realize that it's human to fail at times.

We must accept that we're all imperfect beings who never do everything 100% right. If we can accept that, then we open the door to being good to ourselves.

Once we begin showing compassion to ourselves then we can start caring about others.

Being compassionate to ourselves doesn't mean that what we did to ourselves and others was okay.

Instead it means that we're able to accept our human failings as part of life and then move into compassion for others.