More Addiction Talk

An amazing report came from West Virginia yesterday that more addicts died of opioid overdoses than were killed in car accidents in the previous year. A first for that state.

According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) the problem in growing. As medical authorities make it more difficult to obtain prescription drugs - addicts are turning to heroin and fentanyl because they'e cheaper and easier to obtain.

From the time I started using heroin in the 1950s the authorities have been beating the same drum. War on drugs. Longer prison terms. Zero tolerance for first offenders. But the reality is that none of these measures have made a difference. My habit just got larger because I knew nothing of recovery. And I met a lot of good connections when I was locked up.

About 80% of our prisons are made up of addicts. Though we don't punish people with cancer or heart disease by locking them up that's not the case with the disease of addiction.

Prison and law enforcement is big business in this country and a majority of crime stems from illegal drug use, drug sales, and crimes committed to get drugs.  From an economic standpoint punishment makes sense. It keeps a lot of people working.

My suggestion is that we become more creative. Look to the European countries that are having some succcess with curbing addiction. It's on the internet for all to see.

While we stand back moralizing about what to do with a problem that's been around for a hundred years they've taken some positive steps.

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Old Days

September 8 of 1959 I was on a bus headed to California State Prison at San Quentin. I was chained to a bunch of other prisoners, most of them heroin addicts like me.

There were probably 50 of us on that bus and I was wondering what had become of the others. Were any of them still alive after all these years?  Or clean?  Or free?

Had they given up drugs and gone on to lead productive lives. Had they spent - like I did - years going in and out of insititutions because of their drug habits? Of course that's an answer I'll never have because I didn't know most of the prisoners on that bus anyway. And I've been out of that life for almost 26 years.

But once in a while I'll get a message about or from someone from the old days. Most them continued their habits, going in an out of jails and prisons for a number of years.

Some of them stayed out, but remained addicted to methadone or alcohol the remainder of their lives.

I'm reminded of this because I've gotten calls or texts from a few people I knew from those days in the past few months. I'm not sure why they call because unless they're in recovery there's not much to talk about. I haven’t talked to any of them more than once. Which kind of gives me an idea that they're still in the game. Who knows?

The reality is that I live a blessed life today for one simple reason: I surrendered and gave up my addiction. And while I wish them well, I know that I really have nothing to share with them other than memories of when times were really ugly.

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A New Saint

Yesterday Pope Francis raised Mother Theresa to sainthood. And while I never followed my Catholic upbringing, I think her message was universal- in other words for everyone.

Her message to the world could be boiled down to one word: Love. And she demonstrated that love by living in some of the most horrible slums in the world. She lived to serve the sick and the homeless. And she lived among them. Though I'm paraphrasing here, she once was quoted as saying she "saw Jesus in all his forms among the poor and downtrodden."

A university study once showed that Mother Theresa worked under the worst conditions yet didn't get sick herself. The study involved taking blood samples from her and those who helped her. Somehow the work she was doing fortified her immune system to protect her from illness.

A later study showed that even those who watched movies of her at work had increased protective antibodies in their systems.

To me it's amazing how one tiny nun can be such an influence and example in a world that's tearing itself apart with violence and hatred.

She shows the power of love to a world that needs more of it.

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Mindfulness

Every Saturday at around noon I offer staff members a mindfulness class in my office. It's big enough to accommodate around seven - which is about how many show up.

But, even if one person shows I'll have the class. Because it's not about the numbers. It's about the benefits for those who atttend.

And for the those of you who aren't aware of the benefits, there are many. Studies show that regular mindfulness sessions are 20% more effective than depression medication. And mindfulness based relapse prevention shows similar results when compared with 12 step programs or one on one therapy. That's a lot of payback for investing a few minutes of our day. Check the internet to find hundreds of evidence based studies about mindfulness meditation.

When I first started the class, I was surprised that one or two members would be snoring within minutes. At first I thought I wasn't doing it right. So after a few sessions like this I consulted a fellow instructor and he said this wasn't unusual. He said that so many people operate under such stress that their bodies take any opportunity for a break. And meditation can be so relaxing that hearing a student snoring is not uncommon.

I write this blog today for those of you who are curious about the benefits of meditation. Even though there is no goal, practitioners report that after a short period, they're calmer, they sleep better, and feel more focused.

And the nice thing is that all it costs is a little time.

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Enjoy the Journey

The only thing we can count on in life is that things are constantly changing. I used to hear that saying and blow it off - like it didn't apply to me.

But on my way home from my annual physical checkup today - I realized that there are some eternal truths. And that is one of them.

I  remember that 40 years ago, on my 37th birthday while serving a drug term on a California honor farm, I celebrated by taking a 15 mile run. And thought nothing of it.

But then six or so years ago I developed neuropathy in both feet and since then have had to wear braces and have some problems with balance. Fortunately, while I can no longer run, I can ride a bike, an elliptical, use a treadmill, or swim.

Also, I found out recently that I'll have cataract removal surgery to clear up my vision.

A large blessing in my life is that I've been able to afford excellent medical care. And I'm one of those who follows my doctor's advice.

The point of all this is that I've changed radically over the years. Going from someone who was always drunk and didn't believe in change, to someone who's been sober over 25 years.

And instead of fighting change I've developed the humility to accept that someday all of us will be part of the dust that blows across our our deserts.

My message is to live a life of quality and service and enjoy each step we take on this planet - especially the changes.

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Excuses

An alcoholic is hanging on by he skin of his teeth. He rejects every suggestion I give him.

I offer to pick him him and take him to detox.

"I need to pack first," he says.

We tell him to go to detox now. That we can pick up his stuff later. His priority must be recovery. Not packing a bunch of clothes. We can always get more clothing for him.

Then he needs to talk to his family. As if they'd try to talk him out of getting sober. And his boss. He needs to ask his boss for a few days off for personal reasons.

It's always something outside himself that's keeping him from jumping into recovery.

He'll plead his case - his excuses for drinking would pave a freeway.

The reality is that he's not ready. And, as we all know, it took a lot of painful experiences for us to get sober. Let's pray that one of these days he gets enough pain.

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Inside Job

Often addicts come to my office and tell me they're sad or unhappy.

So I ask them what's going on. Why are they unhappy? Or why are they sad?

And the answer is that most often they don't know.

So sometimes we get out a pencil and paper and make a list. When things are visible they're often easier to understand or identify.

Usually the list starts and ends with the things we don't have. We don't have a job. Or girlfriend. Or boyfriend. Or any friends. Or they'e away from home. Or everyone back home is mad at them. You name it. Though there's nothing on the list that has the word gratitude.

Once we get the list together we start talking about who's responsible for all this stuff. And when it's examined in the light of day most of us can see who's responsible. It's me. Most all my unhappiness springs from within.

The real point is that most all of our unhappiness is an inside job. There's something that we want but don't have.

Many of these clients are younger, so I can commiserate. Some are spoiled by indulgent parents. They've been raised in a life of entitlement.

I suggest they'll be much happier if they look at their list carefully and realize it's all about things they want. Things they're clinging to.

If I surrender and say that my life is perfect, guess what? It becomes perfect. Things start flowing. We start doing for others. We begin to realize that there are many in the world who would love to live as we do.

Then the sun shines again and we can find that some of the day might be happy after all. Because all of a sudden it’s not all about me.  What does your list look like?

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