Often addicts come to my office and tell me they're sad or unhappy.
So I ask them what's going on. Why are they unhappy? Or why are they sad?
And the answer is that most often they don't know.
So sometimes we get out a pencil and paper and make a list. When things are visible they're often easier to understand or identify.
Usually the list starts and ends with the things we don't have. We don't have a job. Or girlfriend. Or boyfriend. Or any friends. Or they'e away from home. Or everyone back home is mad at them. You name it. Though there's nothing on the list that has the word gratitude.
Once we get the list together we start talking about who's responsible for all this stuff. And when it's examined in the light of day most of us can see who's responsible. It's me. Most all my unhappiness springs from within.
The real point is that most all of our unhappiness is an inside job. There's something that we want but don't have.
Many of these clients are younger, so I can commiserate. Some are spoiled by indulgent parents. They've been raised in a life of entitlement.
I suggest they'll be much happier if they look at their list carefully and realize it's all about things they want. Things they're clinging to.
If I surrender and say that my life is perfect, guess what? It becomes perfect. Things start flowing. We start doing for others. We begin to realize that there are many in the world who would love to live as we do.
Then the sun shines again and we can find that some of the day might be happy after all. Because all of a sudden it’s not all about me. What does your list look like?
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