I was at a meeting the other day where a young man was sharing his experiences at the podium. He had been sober several years and had a good grasp of all of the steps. But one thing he said really resonated with me.

He related that when he first got sober he looked around the meeting rooms to find someone who had what he wanted.

He said he finally met a man who seemed calm and serene. He believed that this man had good sobriety because of the message he shared - and the look in his eyes. He felt his serenity. He asked him to be his sponsor. The man accepted and helped him through the steps.

The point is that how we carry ourselves at meetings can help someone stay sober. I remember my early days in the program when I would meet someone who was positive. I would leave the meeting knowing that the program worked. If the person at the meeting shared an upbeat message I became enthused. If he talked about the challenges he had overcome then I was encouraged. Over the past 20 years I have accumulated a treasure of success stories that I can draw on when things get tough.

If all we share at meetings is the mess, rather than the message, then we are not working the 12th step. We can share negative things at meetings. But we should relate the negativity to some kind of solution.

When we are at meetings we are the only example of sobriety a newcomer might see. It would be a gift to the world if our behavior helped this person change their life.