To alcoholics and addicts the idea of change can be daunting. Any kind of change raises the specter of insecurity. Because many of us are fear-based, we often look at change as though it will bring something negative into our lives. But change can also bring positive things in our life. In fact. Nothing positive or negative comes into our life without change.

My present wonderful circumstances came from what many would rightfully consider a very negative situation. Around 20 years ago I was in the midst of a devastating addiction to heroin, alcohol, and any other drugs I could get my hands on. I was homeless, I was stealing to make a living, to survive. I was totally demoralized and life looked bleak. Because I had been arrested many times I knew that if I were arrested again I would spend a long term inside. I didn't know where to turn.

Even though I feared the change that was about to come in my into my life I decided to get sober. Why did I fear this change? I feared it because I had never lived sober and been happy. The only sobriety I had experienced was when I was locked up in a jail cell or in a hospital ward. It seemed like I was always trying to drown my pain with alcohol or drugs. I was raised in an alcoholic family and it seemed like the only way I could overcome the experiences of my childhood was to immerse myself in alcohol and heroin. Even though using drugs and alcohol had put me in jail for over 15 years, being drunk or high somehow seemed a safe alternative. I was unwilling to deal with the painful experiences of my childhood.

So the idea of getting sober was almost overwhelming. In retrospect, I look back and see how other people probably viewed me. They might have looked at me as someone who didn't have the courage to face themselves. I'm certain that they didn't understand my addictions or all the problems I had staying out of jail and living sober. I know that my parents and my ex-wives probably just thought I was crazy. My addictions became so difficult for them that they became unwilling to have me around. I was no longer welcome in their lives and they told me to go elsewhere.

The idea of changing my life and getting sober was daunting to me. I was facing the biggest change in my entire life. I was finally ready to admit that I was powerless over drugs and alcohol. I walked through my denial and finally admitted that I had no power over any kind of substance. That was a big change.

For some reason the hardest part of the change was simply admitting that I had a problem. However, my life has been getting progressively better since I admitted my problem. Slowly my health came back. The legal problems I was facing went away. I started out in sobriety walking, taking buses, riding bicycles. But eventually I was able to get an automobile. I kept getting better and better jobs and making more and more money. It seemed like things came back to me almost without effort. The center of my being, the focus of my life, was to simply stay clean and sober.

But, a better life came to me because of this focus.