Wednesday, October 6, 2010

There are many victims of our addictions, but the children are the most tragic of all. This was brought to me over the weekend when I was dealing with a couple who were in our program. They had two children under five years old in the care of her mother, who lives in an eastern state.

The couple had been in our program nearly 90 days and had given us notice they were leaving to return home. One of our managers asked me to intervene because he felt they were leaving for the wrong reasons. It seems that there was an impending hearing with the state about who was to have custody of the children. The parents, the couple in our program, understandably wanted to be there for the hearing so that they wouldn't lose the children.

However, one of the issues was that the couple had only been sober about 90 days and had no resources or ability to take care of the children. They had no job, no car, no money. They didn't have enough money to return home, a trip which would've cost under $500.

When I counseled them I suggested they stay longer and allow our organization to intervene in the matter. I told them we were willing to call child protective authorities in their state and explain that the parents were in a recovery program. We have intervened in situations like this in before and when the parents are trying to rebuild their lives, the state usually goes along with the plan. I even offered to help them, if they gained custody of their children, to start a new life in one of the sober apartments that we lease to graduates of our program.

When I discussed this with them they were indecisive. I told them to think about it for 24 hours and to let me know. The husband, who was unemployed, was offered another job the next day by the labor group our company operates. When I heard he had turned down the week's work we offered him, I realized that he and his wife were probably planning to leave our program. Our management team made a decision to discharge them.

There were immediate repercussions from the mother - who is taking care of the children. She was upset when she called me. She said she didn't have the money to buy them tickets to return home, which would've cost her around $400. She also told me she believed her daughter had been discharged unfairly from our program. I understood her anger and patiently explain to her the sequence of events that led to the discharge of the couple.

Once I explained the situation to her she calmed down. She told me that the father had only called the children one time in the 90 days he'd been in our program. She also said that she felt he was incapable of maintaining employment or taking care of the children, at least based on his history.

My hope is that the couple make it back to their home state, start a new life, and regain custody of their children. However, if history is any indication, this will not happen.

And the victims in this situation are ultimately the two minor children.

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