Even though stress is not something tangible in the sense that we can see it with our eyes or hold it in our hands - it is nevertheless something very real. And those of us who are addicts often attribute our using - or desire to use - to the stress in our lives.
Mostly I've been successful in dealing with stress, but the truth is that sometimes it can also overtake me. I don't get an urge to use drugs or drink when stressed. But I can feel the effects of stress in other ways. I find myself becoming impatient. Or feeling like I'm overdue for a vacation. I can find myself needing more rest. Or feeling like I'm not accomplishing what I need to get done. I feel burdened.
The above usually occurs for me when I have a lot of issues coming at me all at once. And that was the issue this past week. I was arguing for several days with a landlord. A bank said it wasn't going to loan me money for a house - even though they'd been loaning me money for 12 years and I'd never been late on a payment and have an 840 credit score. A good friend was ill and had to go to the hospital. One of my dogs got sick and needed medical care.
By themselves, these events could raise anxiety. But these were things that were all happening at the same time, all mixed up together. And there were other issues going on that I won't mention here. Needless to say it made for a hell of a week.
Looking back, I accept that life is just as it's supposed to be - even when everything comes rushing at us all at once. I need to remember that I have little or no control over anything or anyone, If I just remember that each morning as I walk out the door - and be grateful for the great life that I have today - things will be alright.
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